Hash Wedding weekend

Hash Wedding weekend

Tuesday, 20 October 2015

Hash Trash - Run 191

Where : Cukerbuk Beach
When ; Sunday 18th October 2pm
Hare ; Pisspot
Scribe ; Hose Handler

 What a fantastic turn out we had for the warrior pink breast awareness hash, The sun was shining at Gumsluk again!! At promptly 2pm the 23 keen hashers circled up I must admit if I had a hat on I would take it of for two particular hashers for going the extra pink mile well done Dopey & I love clocks!! The RA called the first home last run well done Shitter, don't forget to take your hat off next time!. So Pisspot was called in as the only hare & of course the run was flat no hooks just a few kms all good stuff "right". Then the GM called in the RA just a joke or two & a weather report good joke & the weather was good. Then On On was called  Fishy Fingers  & Doggy Style were off like a couple of whippets (keep training you two!!) Just a few steps into the hash Tramp Juice had a tumble & twisted her wrist (not to much wine we hope!!) I wish you well TJ  The hash went on up the biggest hill in Gumsluk phew!! round some lovely viewing spots as well, on & on we went then the split came walkers one way & runners the other, King Crapper, Noddy, & I plodded on the runners walk with some check backs set in all good stuff, the run was well marked with some lovely pink arrows nice touch PP. A very good 7/8 km run. Before the circle was called Fishy Fingers & Muffin handed out some LOVELY gin & tonic cup cakes mmmmmm!!
Then the RA called the circle in came Piss Pot for a well deserved down down as a good run!! Even after 191 runs Trevor the virgin  got a down down. Then Tits was called into the circle for a special down down was given as she has done 100 hashes!! Well done Tits. Then the RA was called in & straight away Shelia (I have forgotten her hash name) & Tramp Juices daughter were called in for some very nice brand new trainers so a good down down was given to them, Tramp Juice had new trainers as well but as she had a tumble the RA said next as he was a bit worried she may take a tumble again, (very wise Barrel) Then about four returnees were called in myself included glad to be back for a few hashes! for a down down. Trevor was called in the circle for impersonating hash flash & a down down was given to him. A few more down downs were called for Shitter for forgetting to take his hat off in the circle "again". The circle was called to a closed & we all went to the local pide house for some very nice food good company & good beer hic!!
Just to end & say good luck to I Love Clocks with his knee operation & hope it all goes well!!
Don't forget to check your boobs girls!!!
See you all on the next one.

Hash Trash - Run 190

Hash Trash – Run 190
Location: Pedasa
Hares: Luvjoy and Muffin Muncher
Scribe: Doggy Style

A motley crew of hashers assembled at the RV near Pedasa – the hash started prematurely as, true to form, Luvjoy had chosen an RV that only the off-roaders could get to ;)  So there was an initial uphill scramble from the cars to the RV - thank the Hash Gods that the hashbeer has a truck!  It was great to see some returnees including Comes too soon, Ass-kicker, I love Clocks and Tramp Juice.  Once the latecomers had arrived (Dopey!), the GM called the circle to a start.  Apparently this wasn´t appreciated by the local ”children” (that’s me being polite), and after them pelting stones at us and the cars, it became apparent that security was required.  Virgin gallantly opted to miss the run and guard the beers.
The hares were called in to tell us the normal pack of lies about the trail – flat, all tarmac, clearly marked, and we were briefed on the new hook that Luvjoy had decided to introduce which  basically involved the front runners touching each other up.    I think this is just another way of trying to deter the front running bitches from being upfront with the front runing bastards!!
It was noted that a number of the group had been to the Fethiye birthday hash the previous weekend, and all had a great time and were sporting their new T-shirts.  Luvjoy was called in to drink his FRB down down from the previous run, and then we were off to the dulcit tones of Pisspots horn.
We were soon off the path and scrambling up a river bed, trying to hop over lots of spikey bushes and hoping to avoid Luvjoy’s hornet friends.  The views over the coastline were fantastic and the sun was shining brightly.  The hares had said something about conserving flour and  marking only where necessary.   However, the gusts of wind during the night had decided that some of their marks weren't needed, and so the front runners were soon in a muddle where a circle had been blown away.  The hare came to the rescue to set us back on the right route, and off we ran.  Unfortunately Luvjoy was a bit slow on his feet after tennis and a hornet attack so we all  did an extra stretch before hitting a dead end and him managing to catch us up to say that a  check back had been blown away.  Mutterings started coming from some of the runners about the virtues of lots of marks at this point, but everybody was happily back on course and skipping down a river bed whilst trying to keep ankles intact.
The runners all ran in reasonably together, and were soon followed by some of the quicker walkers.  And then we waited, and we drank  beer, and we waited, and we drank beer.  Slight panic began that the young Muffin Muncher walking-hare was nowhere to be seen, but a quick phone call revealed that she was not too far but was diligently waiting for her pack.  So  we waited, and we drank beer, and we waited.  Finally, the stragglers started coming in, and Muffin Muncher looked relieved to have shepherded them all safely home.  Noddy had taken a tumble, so ice was dispensed to her knee.
The hares were called in and, ahem, celebrated for their trail setting.    Down downs followed for returnees, and something involving Noddy, Barrel, Dopey and Luvjoy.  I was summoned in for getting  Leaky Willy over-excited at the Fethiye hash (Swansea men!), and then in came the latecomers.  The RA had us all chuckling with a good joke,  and then summoned myself and Fishy Fingers in with Pisspot for our declaration that we woould be blowing Pisspot’s horn at the next run.  There were other down downs too, but my memory fails me what for.
The circle was brought to a close, and we headed off to Masa in Turgutreis for the On On On.  Great service and food again – thanks Erol!  And  a big thanks to Luvjoy and Muffin Muncher for a great afternoon.

Hash Trash - Run 189

Where : Kadikalesi
When : September 20th 3pm
Hares : Fishy Fingers & Tits
Scribe : Fishy Fingers

  Another glorious day weather wise and a group of enthusiastic ( or mad) hashers gathered to take part in Bodrum Hash House Harriers Run 189 , there was hashers old and new and returnees too , some regular faces were missing preferring watching physical activity on TV in the form of the Rugby World cup rather than partaking . One of the missing hashers was the RA himself  ( Barrel )so his better half ( Noddy) stood in  for him .The GM called the circle and after a few words invited the hares in to spin their tales about the trail and  more importantly give details of the food after ! Then the RA took to the circle and told a joke etc , then On On On was called and off we went ,

   The trail soon led us to the promenade and along the seafront and off in the direction of Kadikalesi , the runners were soon off well in front ( albeit rather hesitantly given that the hares had warned them of multiple hooks and knowing that Fishy Fingers is particularly cruel when it comes to hooks !) The checks kept the pack pretty compact but when the main road was crossed and the walkers realised the hill  ahead they opted for the flat main road option , but not the hardened runners up they went , then back down from back check they went , back up again ( cruel I know ) . When the runners realised they were still heading away from the RV there were several groans and then rather large ones as the first hook got them ! So back down the hill again went the first 3 enthusiastic runners . Onwards and upwards went the pack and then weaving through the road at the top of the hill ( on the plus side I added no steps in this one ) , the front runners were again starting to pull clear when they saw it the second hook ( they were warned ) , this coupled with another back check meant that the running , fast walking pack came back in altogether not long after the walkers .

   After a few minutes to let the runners catch their breath circle was called and the GM called the hares in to let the crowd heckle them for a cruel cruel run on a hot sunny afternoon ! There were plenty of down downs given for newcomers , returnees and various misdemeanours . Then the RA invited people in to tell a joke and Bringing Up the Rear didn't need asking twice , he came in and told a joke so memorable I had forgotten it by the time he had his down down ( sorry mate ) , plenty more beer to go around and the circle was closed . We all then headed to Uncles where as usual the portions were huge , the service was great and everyone was happy !

On On Fishy Fingers !!

Thursday, 8 October 2015

Hash Trash - Run 188

BH3 Run No. 188
Fener Beach at 3pm on 6th September 2015
Hares:  Dopey & Muҫ
Scribe:  King Crapper

1. The Gather-round
It was a beautiful summer afternoon and a great RV location, popular with the hundreds of Sunday beach-goers to be one of the best beaches on the Bodrum peninsular. The car park may have been busy and there may not have been absolute privacy, but there was plenty room for the cars of the 17 faithful Hashers who assembled.
The Gather-round was called by GM Culture Vulture, and a moment of silence was observed for those lives lost on this coastline just a few days before, and also for the many refugees whose suffering and vulnerability was resulting in their taking extreme risk at sea.
The ‘first home on the last run’, Doggy Style and Fishy Fingers in a dead heat, were called in for their drinks.  These were consumed/spilt while bending over, bums pressed together and hands clasped between their legs; a difficult position but one that has probably given great pleasure to many a public school-boy pair (and their audiences), in years past.
The hares, Dopey and Muҫ, were then introduced and talked about the trail.  There would many checks, and a check-back (or was it to be a hook) for the first 5 runners.  There would be a walkers option which would be 700m shorter than the full run.  Dopey said that that the trail was on public roads, apart from the adjacent hill (which he indicated, thus giving the front runners a good clue as to the trail direction), where the trail would run through Muҫ’s sité.
Food numbers were taken, and announcements made.   After the down downs, runners who wanted to swim in the sea would be allowed to use the Kemer Café and Restaurant’s shower and changing facilities.  RA Barrel told a joke.

2. The Run.
The initial on-on was called out towards the main coast road.  The 2nd trail was found to the right, and then the third was called up hill; yes, the hill previously indicated by Dopey.  The trail zig-zagged up, and the view of the beach below and the sea out towards Nisos Kos improved.  The marks in the trail grew further apart causing minor confusion at the front, but finally the split between runners and walkers trails was reached.  Culture Vulture and Shitter returned from the runners option, and retraced their steps to the last check saying they had found the hook.  Luv Joy, Doggy Style, Fishy Fingers and King Crapper continued cautiously, but the hook was not apparent; it was actually a long loop which eventually turned back on its self and to where the trails split.
On-on was then called down the walkers trail, and provided spectacular sea views towards Nisos Pserimos.  With a couple of long zig-zags, complete with short cut opportunities down stairs for the walkers, the trail finally reached the valley floor and headed towards the sea.  The final trail turned south along the busy coast road, or was it along the beach; the signs were probably obscured by the many parked cars or the sun-bathing bodies.  Final excitement on the coast road On-In, if that is where it was, was provided by a protest march which was heading northwards.  The protest line, complete with banners, TV cameras, and photographers, slowed the traffic and made the road safer for tail-end walking hashers.
3. The Circle
The circle was called by GM Culture Vulture.
First in for a drink were the hares’ Dopey, and Muҫ. The usual calls of ‘not steep enough’, ‘too much flour’ were amongst those shouted from the circle.  Culture Vulture and Shitter who mistook the incoming marks of a loop for the sign for a hook were consoled by having run a similar distance to the full trail.  Muҫ was then given a second drink for having broken a cardinal hash rule (there are no rules?) of setting a trail past her house without inviting the hash in for a drink.
Next in were returnees, Money Cruncher and Iki Su, followed by ‘virgin’ Şükran; all welcomed to the hash with a drink.
The circle was then officiated by RA Barrel.  He called in 3 male hashers; Luvjoy, Shitter and King Crapper, and then invited Doggie Style in to celebrate her 69th hash run.  Old Wreck fulfilled the health and safety requirements by providing a red plastic table cloth from the boot of her car, and Doggie Style was hoisted into a semi-handstand pose by two of the thugs, while the third fed her a drink.  Most was spilt or possibly inhaled, very little was consumed, but all 4 had the opportunity to enjoy a drink afterwards.
The usual hash offences were then rewarded.   Dopey, Tits and Fishy Fingers were this hash’s ‘forgetful ones’ for not having remembered their hash mugs.  Virgin and Old Wreck were called in for misnaming – who and when this scribe didn’t hear.
Scrutiny of the ‘receding hare line’ showed that the next run which was to be set by Tits and Iki Su, was now being set by Tits and Fishy Fingers, Iki Su not being available on that date.  RA Barrel explained that once published, the ‘receding hare line’ was set in stone, so called all three in for drinks.  He then confused the circle with what may have been a Welsh description of hares that ‘were to be’ and hares that ‘will be’ – or something like that.
Butt Butt was then given a drink, probably for telephone abuse during the circle.  Muҫ was again called in, this time for having very pink shoes, and was joined by Doggy Style who was adorned with various pieces of pink trim.  And Barrel told a story or a joke (again this scribe can’t remember) which sounded good at the time and he was awarded a drink.
Finally, Noddy was recognized for being the only hasher present not having been called into the circle, but was given an i.o.u. for a drink next time, as Hash Cheers didn’t want to open a new can of beer.
The circle was finally closed and most hashers adjourned to the nearby Kemer Café and Restaurant for an excellent value for money meal.  Despite being so close, it was sad that very few had the time for a dip in the sea or to enjoy the beach.
King Crapper