Hash Wedding weekend

Hash Wedding weekend

Monday, 31 August 2015

Hash Trash - Run 187

Run: 187
Date: Sunday 23rd August 2015
Location: Turgutreis
Hares: Shitter & Butt Butt
Scribe: Culture Vulture

Another fine day and this time we were blessed with the attendance of our beloved GM, Hose Handler.  As it seems that he will not be a regular attendee for some while yet, he announced some temporary changes to the Hash Mismanagement.  Culture Vulture will stand in as GM and Barrel will stand in as RA.  Additionally, Noddy will work together with Long Willy on Hashadabbery.  Having then braved the dust clouds (great choice of RV hares!) he immediately handed over to Culture Vulture and gratefully (it seemed) stepped out of the circle.

CV brought in the hares to deliver the usual pack of lies, awarded the Down-Down for first home last run to Luvjoy, annouced that unless there were any volunteers (there weren’t, of course) he would scribe the run.  He then handed over to Barrel as RA who seemed totally unprepared for the occasion, but then maybe not – just a charade.  ON-ON called and the masses –all 17 of us – surged(?) forward.

The trail was up to the usual expectation of lies from the hares including the non-existence of a hook.  A couple of safety hazards – barbed wire and markings on the wrong side of a main road – which were well noted and rewarded later.  The pack was completely confused at the end of the trail when the RV had upped and gone a further few hundred metres on – at least it was dust free there.  Before calling the closing circle, we waited while King Crapper checked out that part of the trail that we had apparently all short-cutted.  Thus he was the only one to complete the whole trail.  Well done and first home King Crapper.

CV then belatedly opened the circle calling the hares for the usual abuse and Down-Down.  Next Hose Handler as returnee, and then Long Willy’s friend Kristina as Hash Virgin.  Just before handing over to the RA, the GM appropriately awarded him his Bodrum Hash 50th run tankard.  Another one for his collection of Hash mugs.

The RA had a fistful of Down-Downs in store for us.  First of all the new (albeit temporary) Mis-management.  Then a well-deserved Down-Down for King Crapper, for going back to complete the trail and keep us all waiting for our Hash Nectar.  Birthday wishes to Hose Handler and Fishy Fingers followed, and then the hares castigated for their Health and Safety hazards mentioned earlier.  Barrel then called in Kristina, today’s Virgin, to test her powers of memory.  Every one announced their Hash Names and then she was requested to repeat them (but not before we had all, of course, moved around).  Unfortunately she totally failed and Long Willy, who had brought her along, successfully managed to complete the task for her.  There was then a classic Down-Down to Muffin Muncher for casually calling to the RA during the run “Hey Barrel, what is your Hash Name?”  The RA then called in all the apparent walking wounded – those hashers with dodgy knees, ankles, backs etc.  Luvjoy joined this crowd and when asked why he said he had a dodgy dick!  Next Down-Down was for the forgetful who had not got their Hash mugs (the RA himself saved purely because he had just been awarded a new one).  One or two more Down-Downs for what, I cannot remember, and then the call for the ON-ON-ON at the Değirmen Restaurant in Dereköy – only 10 km away!!

A great day - thanks to all.

Culture Vulture

Tuesday, 18 August 2015

Hash Trash - Run 186

BH3 Run No. 186
Gumuşluk at 3pm on 9th August 2015
Hares:  Culture Vulture  &  Long Willie
Scribe:  King Crapper

1. The Gather-round
And so they gathered, the faithful 19, on a warm summer afternoon at the Gumuşluk country estate of Culture Vulture and Virgin.  The RV parking had been pre-specified; limited inside the estate, with the overflow outside where care was to be taken not to obstruct the neighbours parking or the grazing area.  Despite the estate gates being left open in a most welcoming fashion, everyone chose to park outside, thus leaving the ‘choice’ internal parking for VIP’s and late arrivals.  Dopey, the late-arrival-of-the-day, also chose to park outside and lived up to his name by blocking the neighbour’s car.
The Gather-round was called by RA Culture Vulture, who was probably quite pleased that the pack had not found their way into his cool and inviting pool.
The first-home-on-the-last-run, Shitter, beaten only by the professional runners of the Happy family clan who were not present on this day, was called in for his drink.
The hares, Culture Vulture and Long Willie, introduced themselves and proceeded with their ‘disinformation’ act.  One said the run was easy and not too long, while the other said he had lost 4kg in sweat while laying the trail so advised extra water to be carried.  The trail was laid using blue arrows on the left, with toilet paper in places, and an observant runner could find drinking water at certain places.
Other announcements followed. After the Hash, runners would be invited to use the pool, but were asked to shower first.  The BBQ would be fired up after the down-downs were completed.  And hares were still required for the run in 4 weeks.

2. The Run.
On-on was called towards the gates, but many of the pack went the other way to stock up on water.  The runners followed the trail out to the tarmac road and then turned left for a short distance before turning right into the bed of a dry stream.  Foliage overhead provided welcome cover from the sun and most enjoyed this delightful section of trail; the exception being Barrel who was nursing his ankle still damaged from 2 runs previous. Some 3 checks and several small back-streets later, the pack emerged in the centre of Gumuşluk village.
And then the up-hill began, gradual at first, above and behind the Gumuşluk main street, past the water cistern, and straight on for the runners.  The walkers were diverted right and soon baked in the heat as they ascended a steep section of gravel and then concrete road, to reach a ‘5-option’ check on the tarmac Karakaya access road.  To reach the same check, the runners enjoyed a long loop containing several checks, continuing initially up and then down to the ‘over-hill’ road towards Yalikavak.  Front runners LuvJoy, Shitter and the more youthful Patrick rotated places as each had luck in finding the trail which turned right up the ‘over-hill’ road, right again up a gravel road , and then near the end of this road (and with guidance from hare Long Willie), right again through a gate into scrub and farm land.  Here toilet paper dangling from bushes assisted in marking the trail and the pack scrambled upwards, over at least one small wall protected by thorn branches and barbed wire (enjoyed in particular by Fishy Fingers and Piss Pot), to some ruins and then the houses and the entrance of Karakaya village.  By the time the runners had reached and investigated the back-checks of the scenic ‘5-option’ check, and had recovered from King Crapper incorrectly identifying a hook, the walkers, directed by hare Culture Vulture, had long since descended the downwards trail via a new road past a major water depot, and had enjoyed the water from a public tap.  Dopey generously paid back one group of walkers, who had shared their water with his sister Emel and him, by purchasing ice creams for all as the outskirts of Gumuşluk village was reached.  The runner’s path home was cleverly concealed using back-checks, and in at least one instance, a check-back, but the general direction was down. The RV was a most welcomed sight after a trail that had taken more than one and a half hours for the slower runners.
3. The Circle
The circle was delayed so that all could enjoy a dip in the hosts’ pool.  LuvJoy led the way in organizing a vigorous pool-version of ‘piggy-in-the-middle’, so it was a great relief to some when the Circle was called by acting GM Culture Vulture.
First called in by Dopey, in his capacity of ‘acting acting GM’, were the hares Culture Vulture and Long Willie.  Calls of ‘too short’, ‘not steep enough’, ‘not hot enough’ and ‘not enough toilet paper’ were amongst those shouted from the circle.
The RA and acting GM Culture Vulture then took over and explained the significance of increasing beer prices, falling hasher numbers, the current illegal act of the Hash selling beer without a liquor licence, and the unavailability of others to help with the Hash mismanagement.  He asked for members to consider and debate the possible solution to all these problems; that members bring their own alcohol to the Hash while the hash mismanagement supplies only the down-down beers, so that this could be voted on in the near future.  The RA and acting GM also asked for members to identify others they know who might be interested in hashing, and also any previous hashers who may be enticed back
And then the usual business of the circle continued.  Dopey and Emel were called in for arriving late, and for setting out on the hash with insufficient water supply.  Dopey was rewarded again for his pre-hash car parking.  Barrel, who had earlier been given the ‘helmet’ for falling on a previous hash, and Piss Pot who had been given the ‘hash shit’ for not scribing the previous hash trash, were called out in recognition of their acts.  Emel was introduced as a naming candidate, and, later in the proceedings, was named Money Penny and given an appropriate drink.  Returnee Tinkerbell was invited into the circle for a drink, as was ‘virgin’ Patrick.  Muffin Muncher was called in for wearing pink, and her attempt to draw attention to Tits’ pink toe-nails was ignored.  Virgin and Happy were given drinks for misnaming.  Shitter, ButBut, Tits, and Happy were called in for being mug-less, and Patrick was called in for his tea-pot pose.
In recognition of Patrick being Canadian, Barrel sang a hash version of the French national anthem, and later told a very good joke which, like all other jokes, this Scribe cannot remember.  Each hash member present then introduced him/herself to Patrick, and he, after a very good attempt in remembering all but a few names, was awarded a drink.
Finally, Old Wreck, LuvJoy, Fishy Fingers, Culture Vulture, and Shitter, were called in to help finish up the remaining down-down drinks.
The circle was finally closed, the BBQ was lit, and an excellent evening was enjoyed by all.  Our thanks go out to Culture Vulture and Virgin for making their estate available to the hash, and also for their hospitality.  Both were most appreciated.
King Crapper

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

Hash Trash -Run 185

Where : Pedasa 
When : Sunday 26th July 3pm
Hares : Luvjoy & Doggy Style
Scribe : Dopey

On a cool 39 C degrees of 26th July 2015 afternoon, Dopey, His sister Emel, Muchk, But But and Shitter was travelling towards Pedesa area of Bodrum. Whilst on the duel Carriage way from Ortakent to Konacik direction, Shitter spotted a blue vehicle on the right, driven by RA and passenger Virgin heading towards to RV of BH3 Hash Run 185.
Instead of But But giving the driving instructions, she just said “Follow This truck” which made the journey very straight forward to the destination.
AS we entered the Pedesa Antik Park we saw a man acting as traffic police directing us to a parking plot. He turned out to be our very Hare Lovejoy. Due to the abundance of the signs he assumed the duty of traffic warden for the arriving hashers to RV.
When RA gathered the Circle and awarded the most desired warm beer to the Last runs FRB. 
He again assumed the GM and RA combined job. He proceeded with the unfortunate sad news of Noddy’s mother’s passing away on Saturday morning and asked for a Minute silence to express our respect to our fellow Hasher and her late Mother. Our Condolences could be offered through Facebook page which announces the sad news.
The Circle proceeded with the hares’ informative description of the run being a flat and a few check backs etc. and all signs being marked on the Left side of the tracks.
Before the start I, Dopey, was told that I was the Scribe of Run 185. Being Dopey I must have volunteered but forgotten all about it or it could have been GM/RA exercising his power to designate the position. Whatever the reason was, I could not refuse this honour so I put my scribe hat on to remember all events and started forward with the rest of the gang.
After a mile or so my Remembering hat told me that the signs were on the left side of the track but I could not see any. So to accomplish my duty correctly I offered £10,000 award to the first Hasher to find the chalk / Flour marked sign. The news must have triggered an interest and both Hares and runners joined in looking for the signs. In fact Lovejoy has tried to cheat and throw some flour on the track whilst running but as he was caught cheating no award was given.
I heard the voices from the walkers near to the top of the mountain “God please let this be the last hill to climb”. I could not understand the reasoning of this pray as it was only 42 C degrees and the track was prickly and lots of rocks. Every now and then runners appeared out of nowhere, joined us and disappeared again. Perhaps they haven’t realised the award was cancelled, I thought.
Some of the walkers made a short cut of a shortcut and returned to RV point so that Virgin would not be left alone for a long time. Eventually down the hill towards the RV, runners joined us ones again running so fast that I thought they were running away from a wild Boar or something.

Altogether we arrived at the RV and quenched our thirsts with water and beer.
Eventually RV/GM put a stop to the laziness and called for the circle. He started with awards of Hares which was followed by returnees, Visitors, Teapots and various other worthily reasons.
Before the ending of the Circle RA/GM explained that we had to move our Hash date on October the 4th , a week later to 11th October 2015 as it coincided with Fethiye Nash-Hash. We were also told that unless Hare volunteers come forward for the future hashes, there won’t be any runs. So some more hashers have come forward to put their names down.
After the circle closed the Hash group carried on towards the on-on-on at Kadikalesi beach but, unfortunately this scribe had his Children arriving early evening from the UK therefore he could not make the on-on-on to scribe about. 

Hash Trash - Run 184

Scribe : Pisspot