Hash Wedding weekend

Hash Wedding weekend

Monday, 18 May 2015

Hash trash - Run 180 ( Weekend wedding hash Sunday )


Date:        Sunday, 17th May 2015
Location: Ortakent Yah┼či
Hares:      Culture Vulture
Scribe:      Doggy Style

After the excesses (for some) of the wedding celebrations the night before, a surprising number of hashers made it bright and bushy-tailed to the 12 noon start for Run 180.  The latest to arrive were of course the bride and groom, but they had honeymoon excuses.   When the circle finally started, Culture Vulture described the trail (generally lots of up and down, water that you wouldn’t want to step in, and marks on the left).  We did introductions for the visitors and new Groom, announced that No-name Vanessa was due to be named and awarded her the chic yellow naming hat to wear on the route, awarded Lightfoot the down-down for being the FRB on the run the Saturday run, and then off we went.

K9 set off with a very visible perkiness and the rest of the runners gave chase.  Along the beach, scrambling up the side of a hill, a wrong call thanks to a pile of building cement, and then all back together to go up and down some more.  It seemed blissfully cool for a midday run until we hit a dust track where the heat just bounced back at you.    With the male runners all keeping a strong pace (obviously in a completely non-competitive manner), Fishy Fingers and I lagged a little behind.  We did spook them nicely though when we reappeared quite close to them around a corner towards the end of the route, and that set them off scurrying away again for fear of coming in after the girls.

The walkers were not too far behind, and we were all soon back home at the RV, gratefully embracing the cold beer and wine.    A few people went to cool off in the sea, and an alert was raised that there appeared to be a pair of black pants abandoned on the grass.  Once it was ascertained that they were too lacy to be Fishy Fingers’ misplaced knickers from the night before, the owner was discovered to be Luvjoy.  Perhaps he had decided to join in with the tackle-display theme of the run.  Everyone’s nether regions appropriately covered, the circle was opened by the RA who was soon commended and heckled for his trail.  Noddy and Fishy Fingers were brought in for down downs to celebrate Noddy’s organisation of the weekend and Fishy Fingers truly scrumptious cake-baking.  Ellen and her team were also called in for thanks, after which Ellen shortly became “Matchmaker”, named after her Cilla Black skills with the Bride and Groom to be.  Vanessa came in to tell us more about herself, and various names were discussed.  Unfortunately for us, the call of mothering came and she had to leave the circle before she was named.  Unfortunately for her, this gave us even more time to reflect on possible suitable names.  We are looking forward to your return Vanessa!!!

There were many many down downs more – returnees, visitors from Istanbul and Fethiye (who reminded us about their upcoming birthday weekend and Nash Hash), mugless, no hash-gear, etc.  After which point, we were all beginning to melt in the heat and energy levels were wavering.  A break was taken for some men to master a mighty black erection whilst we all filled our mouths with something softer.  After a group photo, the circle was restarted and proceeded to become a battle of jokes.  Some were funny, some very funny, and others just made us groan. Fishy Fingers’ yummy cupcakes were dished out to those who hadn’t been on the previous day’s run, and the remainder awarded to those who managed to come up with a truly funny joke.  There was an exchange of truly beautiful rings by the Bride and Groom (clearly Noddy should be investigated for the recent Hatton Garden heist).  Fishy Fingers and Tits were brought in for appreciation of their barmaid skills, and the circle was brought to a close.  Thanks everyone for a great day!

On On Doggy Style!

Hash Trash - Run 179 ( Wedding weekend Saturday )

Hash Trash - Run 178

When : Sunday 3rd May 2pm
Where : 6km SE of Bodrum
Hares : King Crapper & Lightfoot
Scribe : Fishy Fingers


Run 178 was announced to be our Anzac run and we met on the coast 6km SE of Bodrum . The hares were King Crapper and Lightfoot so we knew a good challenging trail was ahead . A good crowd of Hashers turned out so we know the summer season is upon and we were delighted to welcome back our GM Hose handler too !

The circle was called and GM called in the first home fro the last run which was shitter so next home Doggy Style had the pleasure of the warm beer , The hares were called in and explained about the trail , you know the usual tale flat short etc . They also told us that as well as our usual flour trail Lightfoot had been busy building cairns for us to follow( stacks of rocks to mark a trail) . After the RA had done his bits On On was called and off we went .

King Crapper was the back hare so off we set with Lightfoot as front hare , there were lots of short cuts for the walkers so the pack was kept together very well . The trail started climbing uphill and we soon spotted the first of mny cairns it must have taken Lightfoot hours to mark the trail . The views over the Bodrum Peninsular were fab from the top of the hill , but it was one of those trails that you were never sure if you were going up , down or were somewhere in the middle as we weaved up and down the hills ! I enjoyed a good long run and spurred on by the walking pack managed to run up the final hill back to the RV ,

When the rest of the pack was safely gathered I bought out some cakes , however I had under estimated how many of us there would be so some hashers had to share ( sorry) , beer flowed a plenty in the May heat and the circle was called so the down downs could begin . The returnees ( lots of them ) , misnamers , pink wearers were all called in , Then someone spotted Hot Lips wearing a brand new pair of very sparkly trainers , it came to light they were Tits and she thought she could get away without a penalty the following week if someone else had worn them . Oh no they both had to take a drink out of the sweaty shoes ( sorry Hot Lips but you know what I mean ) .

As this was our Anzac hash , Old Wreck handed out Anzac biscuits and a flyer explaining all about them , much thanks to you as they were delicious ! Then Noddy came in to remind us about the upcoming Weekend Wedding Hash which was the next hash weekend ! The circle was closed and we all headed to the Belediye cafe nearby , where due to our large numbers we had to do a bit of reorganisation to the amusement of the staff .

A big thankyou to the hares for an excellent trail .

On On Fishy Fingers !

Hash Trash - Run 177

Hash Trash Run no 177
Where : In the Middle of Nowhere
When : Sunday 19th April 2pm
Hares: Luvjoy and Happy (& Stalker?)
Scribe : Barrel



 If you go down to the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise.
If you go down to the woods today
You'd better go in disguise!


For every boar that ever there was
Will gather there for certain,
Because today's the day the
Teddy Boars have their picnic.


So we all descended into the woods disguised as hashers. We did not see any teddy bears but Luvjoy, although not mentioned at the start, said that there were teddy boars in the woods.
However he did confuse the hashers, not difficult to do, by saying that there were some false trails and some check backs which did not necessarily mean going back to the last check. Therefore not really a check back – more of a somewhere else back
The first moans from the pack were soon heard as we headed uphill for an energetic start to the hash.
Soon we headed into flatter territory and through the use of a lot of checks and the fact that the undergrowth was slowing down the front runners the pack was kept close together for much of the hash.
In fact the sharp undergrowth drew blood on some hashers’ unprotected legs.
Also, circles were being kicked out before the main pack reached them? Luvjoy thought that the cows were doing it. Yeah right!
After some confusion and back tracking the pack eventually got onto the track which led them back to the cars. As this was a downhill stretch with stones underfoot Shitter was holding hands with one of the visitors. To steady themselves or just because it felt good?
So well done the hares for finding somewhere new, and remote and scenic, and away from all roads and civilisation.
The circle started with the usual – hares, returnees, visitors etc – and the RA told a joke which had some hashers crying out for Semen to return.
Hashers know that Down Downs are not always fair – who says the hash was supposed to be fair? – but the DD given to But But for her driving was a difficult one to take for her. I hope that she did not drive into the RA on the way home or run him over in the car park or other such retribution.
Holding hands – see above – was also DD’d.
A naming ceremony was then carried when Ali was christened – Shit-faced Baba. Learn to live with it Ali.
Tits and I am Up for It  also got DD’s for failing to produce promised hash trashes. They got a hashit for this last time and still  no result – what will the RA come up with if they fail to deliver by the next run??
Some pink was honoured with DD’s as the circle came to a close and the hashers headed off to food in Turgutreis.