Hash Wedding weekend

Hash Wedding weekend

Sunday, 8 March 2015

Hash Trash - Run 173

Hash trash run 173
Location : Sunday 22nd February Kadikalesi
Hares : Fishy Fingers & Doggy style
Scribe : Culture Vulture 

                                 JOHN BUNYAN - THE 39 (thousand)STEPS HASH    STEPS 

With winter travels and winter snivels to blame, only 5 Hashers turned up  (2 hares, 2 runners and 1 invalid) for what turned out to be the Hash with the most steps (of the staircase kind)!

Culture Vulture called for the opening square (with only four other hashers a circle wasn’t possible).  The hares explained the run would not be flat and around 6 km for walkers (none) and 10 km for the runners (2).  They therefore decided that if there was a hook, then maybe it would be OK for it to be ignored.  LuvJoy was given the Down-Down for First home last run.  Before calling the ON-ON he told a brief sexist Valentine’s joke.

With the two hares valiantly trotting behind (or occasionally beside), LuvJoy and Culture Vulture set off.  A brief run along the beach, before the turn up into the hills of Kadıkalesi with all the steep cobbled stones streets and steps for footpaths.  Culture Vulture soon realised that the only way from each check was up the steps which made checking quite easy until we reached the top!  We carefully threaded our way down along the trail and then through the back streets and fields of Kadıkalesi until reaching the streets of Turgutreis.  It was here that LuvJoy was confused by a flour-marked W (for walkers) because he took the other way that led him straight back to the ON-IN.  Because Culture Vulture had been doing his usual checking the wrong way at the previous check, he arrived at this confusing mark in time for the two hares to point him in the correct direction.  A kilometer or so later, the hares declared that the trail still had another 2 or 3 kilometres of loops, but as we had lost the only other runner LuvJoy, it would probably be best to shortcut home.  Half way along the ON-IN we encountered LuvJoy backtracking as he realized he had missed the trail some way back.  Thereafter it was a gentle trot back to the RV.

Culture Vulture called the square together again.  The two Hares, Fishy Fingers and Doggy Style received the appropriate disabuse for “a step too far”.  LuvJoy received his second Down-Down of the day for being Mugless.  This run had been previously declared a Valentine’s Day Hash, but only Culture Vulture was wearing the requested red or pink.  Down-Down’s all round for that of course.  After another sexist Valentine’s joke or two, the very brief square was called to an end and all five of us headed for the ON-ON-ON where the food was up to expectations.


Culture Vulture

Hash trash - Run 172

Date: Sunday, 8th February 2015
Location: Bitez
Hares: Comes Too Soon and Winey Bitch
Scribe: Doggy Style

On what was our wettest hash for the winter,  a number of us (seeing as I’m writing this in April, I can’t remember how many) assembled near the beach at Bitez, raring to go hashing.  It was cold to say the least, and we were hopping up and down to keep warm whilst we awaited the arrival of the Turkish late-comers.  Fishy Fingers amused us with her attempts at doing the splits.
The hares seemed to think that a couple of the more hardened running hashers would volunteer to set a live trail seeing as the rain had battered down upon their marking work from the previous day.  Luvjoy and Culture Vulture soon dissuaded them of this misconception, and Comes Too Soon reluctantly set off again with the flour.  Which is when things got interesting from a trail perspective, but more on that later.
The RA opened the circle, and Luvjoy was awarded the FRB down down from the previous run.  There must have been a joke or too, but I think I was too cold at the time to appreciate them, let alone recall them now.   Once we thought CTS had had enough headway, off we set in pursuit.  It was up up up the hill (always a danger when the RV is at sea-level), and then things went pear-shaped.  Runners were frantically looking for markings.  On On was called, and everyone set off again, only for the runners to be told very emphatically by a couple of the experienced hashers that it was “Walkers only”.  And so began again the frantic mark-searching of the runners.  We soon found another set of marks and ran off in the opposite direction to the walkers.   Fishy Fingers noted that the marks seemed to now be on the opposite side, with some arrows seeming more like they were coming towards us.  Could we be doing the route backwards.  Nothing to fear though, as we were soon met again by the walkers who appeared to have gone on a longer route than we had.  More confusion as the walkers and hare then informed the runners that when they shouted “Walkers only” at us a number of times they hadn’t actually meant “Only” and that we should have gone the same way as them.  Yep – I’m still confused about that use of the word “Only”.  Deciding that the walkers were providing little assistance, the runners set back up the hill we had run down.  Shitter and CV motored on ahead, but marks were spotted to the right.  As we were about to start investigating these, Winey Bitch reliably informed us that this was the correct route and off we should proceed.  And to be fair, it was.  However, this was before her fellow hare had decided to set a different live-trail to the one they had set the day before together, and hadn’t actually told her.  
So, I have no clue what runners route CV or Shitter did, nor which route the walkers did, but the still reasonably well-marked (considering the rain) runners’ trail that Luvjoy, Fishy Fingers, Barrel and I followed was very pleasant.  Lots of country paths, (not so dry) river beds, and a detour across a mandarin grove (accompanied by much barking from the farmer’s Kangols).    The last five minutes involved us being slowed down by calls from the walkers who were fed up of waiting for us to come back to start the circle – makes a change! ;)  Nice hill climb followed by a bit of competitive running from a couple of the runners (who I shall leave unnamed) at the end.
All back safe and well from our different routes, and the closing circle was called.  The hares came in to be berated/congratulated on their trail.  Secondhand dishwasher told a joke, and then CV was awarded a certificate for his 150th Bodrum Hash.  Well done CV!!!!  Miss Attitude was congratulated upon her karate accomplishments for the Turkish team – mental notes made to keep her on side!  Othr down downs were drunk but I can’t recall what for, and then we headed off to the Sultan Restaurant on the beach.  Thankfully the sun had decided to come out, so we were all able to dry off a bit.  Many of us had remembered to bring dry shoes to change into.  Shitter had kindly offered to bring a pair for Luvjoy.  Luvjoy looked a little miffed when Shitter produced them from the boot of his car, and realised that they weren’t actually a matching pair (though at least a vaguely similar shade of colour).  He looked more miffed (though really not that surprised) when he realised that they were also both left feet!!  Next time, ask Butt Butt.
An enjoyable variety of hash routes and a great On On On.  Thank you very much to the hares!
On On! 
Doggy Style

Hash Trash - Run 171

Run 171
When : 25th January 2015
Hare : Culture Vulture
Location : Gumusluk
Scribe : Fishy Fingers

Run 171 was to take place from the home of Culture Vulture and Virgin , the weather forecast was very mixed so brave experience hare Culture Vulture announced he was to set a live run .
So a dedicated crowd of hashers gathered and were ready and waiting to begin at 2pm , however we were delayed by our lovely Turkish ladies timekeeping as the called to say they were running late and turned up 10 minutes late ( thats 1 down down we knew was coming later ) . Our RA started the circle briefly (before he set off to mark the run ) by handing the Hash Shit to Cums too Soon for denying his birthday on the previous hash .The GM then took the circle and after a respectable head start we set off in chase of the hare .

We set off through the lanes of Gumusluk and Luvjoy suggested it might be easy to choose the correct route at the checks due to the amount of mud there would be CVs large fresh footprints but no our RA is too long in the tooth to make a simple mistake like that and  he was determined to make us hunt him down . The live run meant plenty of checks though (16 in total) so the pack was mainly kept together . The hare had also promsied us a short run but as he heard no sound of us behind him he added an extra loop on the end making the run a respectable 6.5km .

When we were all safely back to the RV the circle was called under cover as the promised rain arrived , good work from the RA though as the whole of the actual run remained dry.various down downs were awarded , late comers , tea pots , you name it a down down was given for it .

The On On On was at the small pide house in Gumusluk and was delicious as always and the wine glasses very large and very cheap which is always a winner , So huge thanks to Culture Vulture for another excellent live run and On On to the next hash .

On On Fishy Fingers !!

Hash Trash - Run 170

Dağbelen      Sunday 11th January 2015
Hare:-    LUVJOY
Scrıbe:-  Cums-to-soon

On a brıght and sunny day, coursty of Culture Vulture, the ıntrepıd hashers of BH3 met ın the lovely countrysıde outsıde the vıllage of Dağbelen. Together wıth the regular hashers and some returnees, plus a vırgın, not to be confused wıth our regular Vırgın. The run had been put together by Luvjoy who had done a splendıd job separatıng the runners from the walkers by provıdıng a map for the walkers. The cırcle was called and Dopey was actıng GM due to Hose Handler beıng ın England ( ı hope he gets well and comes back soon)
Dopey ın hıs usual style opened the cırcle and was promtly gıven the Hash Shıt for faılıng to lıaıse over the purchasıng of Hash Gear, to whıch he denıde sayıng ıt was the next week. The Hare was called ın and after confusıng everyone, the Hash was on. Luvjoy had done a great job separtıng the runners from the walkers whıch resulted ın the walkers and runners arrıvıng back at the cırcle almost together.
The cırcle was formed and the Vırgın,returnees were gıven the down downs. Luvjoy was gıven down downs for doıng a good run and also for a Comet beıng named Luvjoy. Doggy Style and Butt Butt were called ın for wearıng new shoes, Cums-to-soon for beıng a bırthday boy, other hashers for wearıng Pınk and wrong namıng. Fıshy Fıngers and Cums-to-soon were called ın to take down downs on behalf of Muffın and Mıss Atıtude who dıd not stop talkıng durıng the run and ın the cırcle. they wıll be gıven water next tıme.
All ın all ıt was good run, well organısed and good weather was enjoyed by all. The cırcle was closed and the On On On was at Zerde ın Kadıkalesi

On On On

Hash Trash - Run 169

Hash Trash - Run 168