Hash Wedding weekend

Hash Wedding weekend

Wednesday, 30 December 2015

Hash Trash - Run 196

Bodrum Hash House Harriers
Hash Trash, Run 196
Hare: Luvjoy
Scribe: Doggy Style

Twas the Twixmas Hash and eight dedicated hashers turned up keen to work off the excesses gained over the Christmas period.   The RV was at Luvoy’s house, who was busy pruning his bush for the occasion when the hashers arrived.   Fishy Fingers opened the circle as stand-in GM and regaled us with trivia about female assassination, which had me slightly worried about what she was planting in the male hashers’ minds seeing as we were shortly heading off into the wilderness.   Muffin Muncher then took over as stand-in RA and had us laughing and groaning at her jokes.

 And then we were off…up..up…up..up..up.  We were soon out of civilisation and heading into the beautiful hills above Turgutreis.   The hare had been environmentally conscious with his marks, but Fishy Fingers and I still did a good job of setting the pace and finding the trail.  The RA had done an amazing job with the weather, and we were soon all stripping down to the bare essentials as the sun beat down upon us.

The views on the trail were spectacular – giving us a chance to see all around the peninsula (yes, we ended up very high!).  We walked through the volcano crater (Muffin Muncher was pleased to find out that it wasn’t active), saw tombs, castle ruins, and had a good spot of scrambling/rock climbing.  Just Meral thought Luvjoy had been joking when he pointed out where we were climbing up to – those of us who are more experienced with his trails knew better.  All were agreed that it was worth it when we reached the highest point.

Finally, the descent began and Butt Butt set off in her renowned Billy Goat skip down the hillside, whilst the rest of us scrambled down in a less stable manner.  Luvjoy had set up an outside dining area for us on the hillside, with views stretching across Akyralar and Turgutreis - the perfect setting for a closing circle.   The flasks of mulled wine were eagerly welcomed, and the GM and RA set the circle going.  Luvjoy was called in for the first down down as hare, and we all agreed that the route had been far too flat, with too much tarmac and no scenery.   There were then down downs for the returnees (Just Meral, Just Nik, Butt Butt, Shitter, Muffin Muncher and Doggy Style), followed by more for those who hadn’t rebelled against the rules and had worn hash gear (the fact that the RA didn’t have any hash gear on just might have swayed this down down!).  Many other down downs were awarded, and then the RA treated us to more of her jokes.   Some went over the heads of her audience, and one left us wondering greatly about the b*ll*cks of the One Direction band.  

As the sun started to set, the circle was brought to a close and Fishy Fingers and I surprised the rest of the hashers by unpacking a traditional British post-Christmas buffet for all, complete with sausage rolls, chicken drumsticks, a large assortment of sandwiches, cheese and pineapple on sticks, potato salad, sherry trifles and Fishy’s legendary cupcakes (Minced meat with brandy butter icing!).  It seemed to all go down well.  Butt Butt declared it to be the best On On On ever 

A big thanks to Luvjoy for setting such a great Twixmas hash and On On On, and to all for their good company on the day.  Happy New Year and I look forward to more hashing fun with you all in 2016!

On On, Doggy Style

Monday, 14 December 2015

Hash Trash - Run 195

Hares: Virgin & Long Willy
Where ; Gumusluk
When : 13th December 2015
Scribe : Fishy Fingers

So we were gathered together on a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon at 2pm in Gumusluk . 10 dedicated hashers ready to embark on our Swedish themed St Lucia hash when at 2pm on the dot up screetched Tits to join us in the nick of time making us 11 . The GM called the circle and gave the down down for FRB last hash which was CV , then called in the angelic looking hares to describe the trail , they said it was the usual short , flat , well marked etc etc , then went on to tell us the history behind St Lucia . Then RA barrel stepped in to give us some more useful advice , I'm sure all these tips will come in handy one day ! And On On wass called and off we set down towards the beachfront , then left !

We ran up towards Kadikalesi and soon encountered our first piece of art of the day ! I have never seen a check so round in all my hashes , those hares must have made a template for that , it was a shame to mark it through but On On was called ahead so thats exactly what I did and then followed in pursuit of the rest of the runners up the hill . Not long after came another check and this time there were four options to check and the only one left for me was down ( groan ) fortunately it was the right way and the only time I actually chose the right option . We ran on and more checks with the same skillful marking to be destroyed were found , along with plenty of marks to keep us on trail ( very diligent marking ladies !) . Towards the approach back to the RV it appeared that Lightfoot got distracted and fancied a detour to the sea as suddenly he appeared behind me laughing he must have done an extra KM in total resulting in myself following Luvjoy  in as he was firsthome !

A short while after we were joined by the walking hashers and our kind Beermaster CV insisted the beer table was moved into the sunshine for the barmaid ( much appreciated thankyou CV) , before the circle was called there was mulled wine and ginger biscuits and mince pies to enjoy , groans of delight were heard as the goodies were devoured by all ! Circle up was called and GM Hose Handler came in to get the opinion of the trail from the masses , we all agreed it was rubbish , and that the checks were definately the best we had ever seen , in fact down downs were given for those hashers who dared to destroy them by kicking them through !

The hares then have us a rendition of the song thats sung on St Lucia day joined by the GM who had crafted a hat of lights as worn in Sweden . RA took the circle and started handing out down downs to all and Lightfoot was most upset that there was no mulled wine left for his ( greedy lot had finished it all) lots of singing and drinking followed with us all wishing each other a merry christmas . The next run was discussed and decided that as we may be few in numbers it will be an informal get together but will still go ahead .

On On On was called and we went off to the pide house in Gumusluk where the liver was delicious as usual . Big thankyou from myself to the hares  and Merry Christmas to all the  fellow hashers from myself and Muffin Muncher ! See the dedicated ones next run and see the rest of my fellow hashers in the New Year !

On On Fishy Fingers !!

Monday, 7 December 2015

Hash trash - Run 194

Hash Trash Run no 194 29th November
Hares: Fishy Fingers and Doggy Style
Scribe : Barrel

Another low turnout but we got into double figures before setting off, in excellent weather suitably arranged by the RA after a few rainy days.

Not many front runners today but Culture Vulture and Luvjoy were kept busy by frequent checks.
The hares were particularly pleased that these FRB’s frequently tried to ‘second guess’ the hares and get it completely wrong.

We ventured into area of ‘greater’ Turgutreis that we don’t normally frequent.

The latter part of the trail took us off tarmac in places and we even passed by an outcrop of rock which the hares said were tombs.

After negotiating some noisy dogs, including one which was outside the fences we made it back to the road for the ON IN stretch.

When we arrived back Luvjoy quickly got to watching the tennis as it was the deciding match in the Davis Cup final. Thereafter we all got regular updates.

The circle started with the usual – hares, and 1 returnee – Tits back from her latest travels.

Luvjoy then got a DD for not paying attention to what was happening in the circle due to the ongoing tennis. He then continued to update us.

Fifteen love!

Tits got a DD for arriving late – although it was only a few minutes late it was after the hares had described the trial

Thirty love!

 Some hashers showed that they had learnt the hash songs allocated to them without use a crib sheet and they got duly honoured with a DD – Happy and Long Willie.

Thirty fifteen!

Other hashers have not yet leant their songs and they also got DD’d – Virgin and CV

Forty fifteen!

Noddy and Virgin got DD’s for celebrating birthdays in the near future and before the next hash.

Forty thirty!

Doggy Style was then called in for New Shoes and Fishy Fingers volunteered to join her as the newish shoes she had on had yet to be christened in the circle.


This more or less brought the circle to an end – there were a few more DD’s for various obscure reasons and then we headed the short distance to the mangal and the food.

Advantage GB!

Plenty of food, another beer and some more tennis updates rounded off the hashing day

Game set and match!

Saturday, 28 November 2015

Hash trash - Run 193

Run : 193
When : Sunday 15th November 2015 2pm
Location : Derekoy
Hares : Culture Vulture & Virgin
Scribe : Happy

Run 193 was held at 2pm on 15th November in the village of Derekoy with 16 hashers in attendance (not a bad turn-out for this time of year)

The circle was called by  Hose Handler  and his first call was to hold a minutes silence for the victims of the Paris massacre which had taken place the night before. Our hearts go out to all !
After the usual instructions from the hares Virgin and Culture Vulture and the down down for the FRB from the previous run( Lightfoot), on on was called and we all set off up into the hills behind the village of Derekoy.

After the initial long and slow (for some !) climb the trail evened out and led us through some beautiful unspoilt countryside and was very clearly marked. Half way round the trail Virgin received a call from  late comer Noddy asking where we were. She tried her best to catch up with the walkers at least but sadly had to battle on and do most of the   of the run on her own.

So after a very enjoyable run we all arrived back at the RV ready for a well earned drink!
The circle was called and the hares were awarded a down down for setting a 'Rubbish' run ! They were then called in again for forgetting the down down mugs! The RA was then asked to take over the circle and he pointed out that because the circle was positioned on a slight incline that some of the hashers were looking 'down' on some of their fellow hashers! To remedy this the circle had to rotate after every down down which caused a little chaos and made for a welcome change. Talking of change all the songs for down downs have changed too. We each have a new song to learn and if called upon in the circle we must lead the song. A couple of new songs were tried and everyone seemed to enjoy the new experience. We even had an audience (in the middle of nowhere) of various groups of children ,women and dogs who were very curious about what we were up to!  All in all a very enjoyable afternoon was had by all and was followed by a lovely meal at the windmill restaurant Gumusluk.

OnOn Happy

Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Hash Trash - Run 192


Run: 192
Date : Sunday 8th November 2015
Location: Yalıkavak
Hares: Barrel, Semen & Grumbling  Bitch
Scribe: Culture Vulture

                                             The Unlucky for Some Hash

Thirteen Hashers turned up for this Unlucky for Some run.  Unlucky for whom? –For those who didn’t come.  A great run (more later), and a different and entertaining circle by RA Barrel (more of that later also).  GM Hose Handler (complete with the start of a full beard for Movember!), gave Culture Vulture the Down-Down for first home last run (yup Culture Vulture first home, but he admitted tripping up all the others!).  He then called in the hares to utter the usual falsehoods regarding the trail – nothing new to tell today.  He then called in the RA Barrel, who uttered nothing except ON-ON that way for the runners and that way for the walkers.

The runners passed the walkers after only a few minutes and then again a few minutes later after finding the first (of many) check-back.  After that there was quite a long trail with many check-backs and the runners passing the walkers a few more times (good planning).  The last couple of check-backs took the runners down to the beach and back again, with Grumbling Bitch doing a grand job as the front hare and running a fair amount of the check-backs herself.  Plenty of marks had been laid to guide the Hashers and even with the long trail (1 hour 20 minutes for first runner home), the whole pack was home within a very short time of each other.  That is how it should be done – well done hares!!

Hose Handler called the after run circle and gave the hares their down-downs after the usual accolades (not!) from the hashers.  Several returnees enjoyed the next down-downs, and then Virgin called in as the only virgin on this run.  Hose Handler called in Culture Vulture for standing in for him whilst he had been away, and then handed the circle over to RA Barrel.  

First in was Anna for her beautiful pink shoes.  Since there were nearly as many Swedish Hashers, as others, Barrel called for a Swedish Joke.  Long Willy came forward and told a tale that lasted nearly as long as most circles.  As the other Swedes hardly laughed (and Anna even cried), Long Willy was asked to translate, but the translation took much less time (what was left out we wonder?).  A well-deserved down-down for that.  Semen and Grumbling Bitch were called in to take their last down-down on the Bodrum hash for a few months and wish them happy travels.  Down-downs for Mugless Lightfoot and Noddy (also Lost Property return of mug to Noddy).  Thomas the Tank Engine was called in as it seems he had forgotten his Hash Name.  He had previously declared his Hash Name as Thomas the Tank, but was sporting an old Hash T-shirt declaring that he is Thomas the Tank Engine.

At this point Barrel declared that he was a little disappointed that the Hashers who had declared that they wanted a variety of Hash Songs were not present.  However, he had printed out several different Hash Songs and which he distributed amongst the Hashers.  Subsequent down-downs, were then accompanied by a down-down song as directed by the RA and led by the hasher who held the relevant words.  Copies of these Hash Songs are to be retained as handed out and used on subsequent hashes.  Well done Barrel, an entertaining change.

The ON-ON-ON was at the Koşede restaurant, and as successful as usual.

Culture Vulture

Tuesday, 20 October 2015

Hash Trash - Run 191

Where : Cukerbuk Beach
When ; Sunday 18th October 2pm
Hare ; Pisspot
Scribe ; Hose Handler

 What a fantastic turn out we had for the warrior pink breast awareness hash, The sun was shining at Gumsluk again!! At promptly 2pm the 23 keen hashers circled up I must admit if I had a hat on I would take it of for two particular hashers for going the extra pink mile well done Dopey & I love clocks!! The RA called the first home last run well done Shitter, don't forget to take your hat off next time!. So Pisspot was called in as the only hare & of course the run was flat no hooks just a few kms all good stuff "right". Then the GM called in the RA just a joke or two & a weather report good joke & the weather was good. Then On On was called  Fishy Fingers  & Doggy Style were off like a couple of whippets (keep training you two!!) Just a few steps into the hash Tramp Juice had a tumble & twisted her wrist (not to much wine we hope!!) I wish you well TJ  The hash went on up the biggest hill in Gumsluk phew!! round some lovely viewing spots as well, on & on we went then the split came walkers one way & runners the other, King Crapper, Noddy, & I plodded on the runners walk with some check backs set in all good stuff, the run was well marked with some lovely pink arrows nice touch PP. A very good 7/8 km run. Before the circle was called Fishy Fingers & Muffin handed out some LOVELY gin & tonic cup cakes mmmmmm!!
Then the RA called the circle in came Piss Pot for a well deserved down down as a good run!! Even after 191 runs Trevor the virgin  got a down down. Then Tits was called into the circle for a special down down was given as she has done 100 hashes!! Well done Tits. Then the RA was called in & straight away Shelia (I have forgotten her hash name) & Tramp Juices daughter were called in for some very nice brand new trainers so a good down down was given to them, Tramp Juice had new trainers as well but as she had a tumble the RA said next as he was a bit worried she may take a tumble again, (very wise Barrel) Then about four returnees were called in myself included glad to be back for a few hashes! for a down down. Trevor was called in the circle for impersonating hash flash & a down down was given to him. A few more down downs were called for Shitter for forgetting to take his hat off in the circle "again". The circle was called to a closed & we all went to the local pide house for some very nice food good company & good beer hic!!
Just to end & say good luck to I Love Clocks with his knee operation & hope it all goes well!!
Don't forget to check your boobs girls!!!
See you all on the next one.

Hash Trash - Run 190

Hash Trash – Run 190
Location: Pedasa
Hares: Luvjoy and Muffin Muncher
Scribe: Doggy Style

A motley crew of hashers assembled at the RV near Pedasa – the hash started prematurely as, true to form, Luvjoy had chosen an RV that only the off-roaders could get to ;)  So there was an initial uphill scramble from the cars to the RV - thank the Hash Gods that the hashbeer has a truck!  It was great to see some returnees including Comes too soon, Ass-kicker, I love Clocks and Tramp Juice.  Once the latecomers had arrived (Dopey!), the GM called the circle to a start.  Apparently this wasn´t appreciated by the local ”children” (that’s me being polite), and after them pelting stones at us and the cars, it became apparent that security was required.  Virgin gallantly opted to miss the run and guard the beers.
The hares were called in to tell us the normal pack of lies about the trail – flat, all tarmac, clearly marked, and we were briefed on the new hook that Luvjoy had decided to introduce which  basically involved the front runners touching each other up.    I think this is just another way of trying to deter the front running bitches from being upfront with the front runing bastards!!
It was noted that a number of the group had been to the Fethiye birthday hash the previous weekend, and all had a great time and were sporting their new T-shirts.  Luvjoy was called in to drink his FRB down down from the previous run, and then we were off to the dulcit tones of Pisspots horn.
We were soon off the path and scrambling up a river bed, trying to hop over lots of spikey bushes and hoping to avoid Luvjoy’s hornet friends.  The views over the coastline were fantastic and the sun was shining brightly.  The hares had said something about conserving flour and  marking only where necessary.   However, the gusts of wind during the night had decided that some of their marks weren't needed, and so the front runners were soon in a muddle where a circle had been blown away.  The hare came to the rescue to set us back on the right route, and off we ran.  Unfortunately Luvjoy was a bit slow on his feet after tennis and a hornet attack so we all  did an extra stretch before hitting a dead end and him managing to catch us up to say that a  check back had been blown away.  Mutterings started coming from some of the runners about the virtues of lots of marks at this point, but everybody was happily back on course and skipping down a river bed whilst trying to keep ankles intact.
The runners all ran in reasonably together, and were soon followed by some of the quicker walkers.  And then we waited, and we drank  beer, and we waited, and we drank beer.  Slight panic began that the young Muffin Muncher walking-hare was nowhere to be seen, but a quick phone call revealed that she was not too far but was diligently waiting for her pack.  So  we waited, and we drank beer, and we waited.  Finally, the stragglers started coming in, and Muffin Muncher looked relieved to have shepherded them all safely home.  Noddy had taken a tumble, so ice was dispensed to her knee.
The hares were called in and, ahem, celebrated for their trail setting.    Down downs followed for returnees, and something involving Noddy, Barrel, Dopey and Luvjoy.  I was summoned in for getting  Leaky Willy over-excited at the Fethiye hash (Swansea men!), and then in came the latecomers.  The RA had us all chuckling with a good joke,  and then summoned myself and Fishy Fingers in with Pisspot for our declaration that we woould be blowing Pisspot’s horn at the next run.  There were other down downs too, but my memory fails me what for.
The circle was brought to a close, and we headed off to Masa in Turgutreis for the On On On.  Great service and food again – thanks Erol!  And  a big thanks to Luvjoy and Muffin Muncher for a great afternoon.

Hash Trash - Run 189

Where : Kadikalesi
When : September 20th 3pm
Hares : Fishy Fingers & Tits
Scribe : Fishy Fingers

  Another glorious day weather wise and a group of enthusiastic ( or mad) hashers gathered to take part in Bodrum Hash House Harriers Run 189 , there was hashers old and new and returnees too , some regular faces were missing preferring watching physical activity on TV in the form of the Rugby World cup rather than partaking . One of the missing hashers was the RA himself  ( Barrel )so his better half ( Noddy) stood in  for him .The GM called the circle and after a few words invited the hares in to spin their tales about the trail and  more importantly give details of the food after ! Then the RA took to the circle and told a joke etc , then On On On was called and off we went ,

   The trail soon led us to the promenade and along the seafront and off in the direction of Kadikalesi , the runners were soon off well in front ( albeit rather hesitantly given that the hares had warned them of multiple hooks and knowing that Fishy Fingers is particularly cruel when it comes to hooks !) The checks kept the pack pretty compact but when the main road was crossed and the walkers realised the hill  ahead they opted for the flat main road option , but not the hardened runners up they went , then back down from back check they went , back up again ( cruel I know ) . When the runners realised they were still heading away from the RV there were several groans and then rather large ones as the first hook got them ! So back down the hill again went the first 3 enthusiastic runners . Onwards and upwards went the pack and then weaving through the road at the top of the hill ( on the plus side I added no steps in this one ) , the front runners were again starting to pull clear when they saw it the second hook ( they were warned ) , this coupled with another back check meant that the running , fast walking pack came back in altogether not long after the walkers .

   After a few minutes to let the runners catch their breath circle was called and the GM called the hares in to let the crowd heckle them for a cruel cruel run on a hot sunny afternoon ! There were plenty of down downs given for newcomers , returnees and various misdemeanours . Then the RA invited people in to tell a joke and Bringing Up the Rear didn't need asking twice , he came in and told a joke so memorable I had forgotten it by the time he had his down down ( sorry mate ) , plenty more beer to go around and the circle was closed . We all then headed to Uncles where as usual the portions were huge , the service was great and everyone was happy !

On On Fishy Fingers !!

Thursday, 8 October 2015

Hash Trash - Run 188

BH3 Run No. 188
Fener Beach at 3pm on 6th September 2015
Hares:  Dopey & Muҫ
Scribe:  King Crapper

1. The Gather-round
It was a beautiful summer afternoon and a great RV location, popular with the hundreds of Sunday beach-goers to be one of the best beaches on the Bodrum peninsular. The car park may have been busy and there may not have been absolute privacy, but there was plenty room for the cars of the 17 faithful Hashers who assembled.
The Gather-round was called by GM Culture Vulture, and a moment of silence was observed for those lives lost on this coastline just a few days before, and also for the many refugees whose suffering and vulnerability was resulting in their taking extreme risk at sea.
The ‘first home on the last run’, Doggy Style and Fishy Fingers in a dead heat, were called in for their drinks.  These were consumed/spilt while bending over, bums pressed together and hands clasped between their legs; a difficult position but one that has probably given great pleasure to many a public school-boy pair (and their audiences), in years past.
The hares, Dopey and Muҫ, were then introduced and talked about the trail.  There would many checks, and a check-back (or was it to be a hook) for the first 5 runners.  There would be a walkers option which would be 700m shorter than the full run.  Dopey said that that the trail was on public roads, apart from the adjacent hill (which he indicated, thus giving the front runners a good clue as to the trail direction), where the trail would run through Muҫ’s sité.
Food numbers were taken, and announcements made.   After the down downs, runners who wanted to swim in the sea would be allowed to use the Kemer Café and Restaurant’s shower and changing facilities.  RA Barrel told a joke.

2. The Run.
The initial on-on was called out towards the main coast road.  The 2nd trail was found to the right, and then the third was called up hill; yes, the hill previously indicated by Dopey.  The trail zig-zagged up, and the view of the beach below and the sea out towards Nisos Kos improved.  The marks in the trail grew further apart causing minor confusion at the front, but finally the split between runners and walkers trails was reached.  Culture Vulture and Shitter returned from the runners option, and retraced their steps to the last check saying they had found the hook.  Luv Joy, Doggy Style, Fishy Fingers and King Crapper continued cautiously, but the hook was not apparent; it was actually a long loop which eventually turned back on its self and to where the trails split.
On-on was then called down the walkers trail, and provided spectacular sea views towards Nisos Pserimos.  With a couple of long zig-zags, complete with short cut opportunities down stairs for the walkers, the trail finally reached the valley floor and headed towards the sea.  The final trail turned south along the busy coast road, or was it along the beach; the signs were probably obscured by the many parked cars or the sun-bathing bodies.  Final excitement on the coast road On-In, if that is where it was, was provided by a protest march which was heading northwards.  The protest line, complete with banners, TV cameras, and photographers, slowed the traffic and made the road safer for tail-end walking hashers.
3. The Circle
The circle was called by GM Culture Vulture.
First in for a drink were the hares’ Dopey, and Muҫ. The usual calls of ‘not steep enough’, ‘too much flour’ were amongst those shouted from the circle.  Culture Vulture and Shitter who mistook the incoming marks of a loop for the sign for a hook were consoled by having run a similar distance to the full trail.  Muҫ was then given a second drink for having broken a cardinal hash rule (there are no rules?) of setting a trail past her house without inviting the hash in for a drink.
Next in were returnees, Money Cruncher and Iki Su, followed by ‘virgin’ Şükran; all welcomed to the hash with a drink.
The circle was then officiated by RA Barrel.  He called in 3 male hashers; Luvjoy, Shitter and King Crapper, and then invited Doggie Style in to celebrate her 69th hash run.  Old Wreck fulfilled the health and safety requirements by providing a red plastic table cloth from the boot of her car, and Doggie Style was hoisted into a semi-handstand pose by two of the thugs, while the third fed her a drink.  Most was spilt or possibly inhaled, very little was consumed, but all 4 had the opportunity to enjoy a drink afterwards.
The usual hash offences were then rewarded.   Dopey, Tits and Fishy Fingers were this hash’s ‘forgetful ones’ for not having remembered their hash mugs.  Virgin and Old Wreck were called in for misnaming – who and when this scribe didn’t hear.
Scrutiny of the ‘receding hare line’ showed that the next run which was to be set by Tits and Iki Su, was now being set by Tits and Fishy Fingers, Iki Su not being available on that date.  RA Barrel explained that once published, the ‘receding hare line’ was set in stone, so called all three in for drinks.  He then confused the circle with what may have been a Welsh description of hares that ‘were to be’ and hares that ‘will be’ – or something like that.
Butt Butt was then given a drink, probably for telephone abuse during the circle.  Muҫ was again called in, this time for having very pink shoes, and was joined by Doggy Style who was adorned with various pieces of pink trim.  And Barrel told a story or a joke (again this scribe can’t remember) which sounded good at the time and he was awarded a drink.
Finally, Noddy was recognized for being the only hasher present not having been called into the circle, but was given an i.o.u. for a drink next time, as Hash Cheers didn’t want to open a new can of beer.
The circle was finally closed and most hashers adjourned to the nearby Kemer Café and Restaurant for an excellent value for money meal.  Despite being so close, it was sad that very few had the time for a dip in the sea or to enjoy the beach.
King Crapper

Monday, 31 August 2015

Hash Trash - Run 187

Run: 187
Date: Sunday 23rd August 2015
Location: Turgutreis
Hares: Shitter & Butt Butt
Scribe: Culture Vulture

Another fine day and this time we were blessed with the attendance of our beloved GM, Hose Handler.  As it seems that he will not be a regular attendee for some while yet, he announced some temporary changes to the Hash Mismanagement.  Culture Vulture will stand in as GM and Barrel will stand in as RA.  Additionally, Noddy will work together with Long Willy on Hashadabbery.  Having then braved the dust clouds (great choice of RV hares!) he immediately handed over to Culture Vulture and gratefully (it seemed) stepped out of the circle.

CV brought in the hares to deliver the usual pack of lies, awarded the Down-Down for first home last run to Luvjoy, annouced that unless there were any volunteers (there weren’t, of course) he would scribe the run.  He then handed over to Barrel as RA who seemed totally unprepared for the occasion, but then maybe not – just a charade.  ON-ON called and the masses –all 17 of us – surged(?) forward.

The trail was up to the usual expectation of lies from the hares including the non-existence of a hook.  A couple of safety hazards – barbed wire and markings on the wrong side of a main road – which were well noted and rewarded later.  The pack was completely confused at the end of the trail when the RV had upped and gone a further few hundred metres on – at least it was dust free there.  Before calling the closing circle, we waited while King Crapper checked out that part of the trail that we had apparently all short-cutted.  Thus he was the only one to complete the whole trail.  Well done and first home King Crapper.

CV then belatedly opened the circle calling the hares for the usual abuse and Down-Down.  Next Hose Handler as returnee, and then Long Willy’s friend Kristina as Hash Virgin.  Just before handing over to the RA, the GM appropriately awarded him his Bodrum Hash 50th run tankard.  Another one for his collection of Hash mugs.

The RA had a fistful of Down-Downs in store for us.  First of all the new (albeit temporary) Mis-management.  Then a well-deserved Down-Down for King Crapper, for going back to complete the trail and keep us all waiting for our Hash Nectar.  Birthday wishes to Hose Handler and Fishy Fingers followed, and then the hares castigated for their Health and Safety hazards mentioned earlier.  Barrel then called in Kristina, today’s Virgin, to test her powers of memory.  Every one announced their Hash Names and then she was requested to repeat them (but not before we had all, of course, moved around).  Unfortunately she totally failed and Long Willy, who had brought her along, successfully managed to complete the task for her.  There was then a classic Down-Down to Muffin Muncher for casually calling to the RA during the run “Hey Barrel, what is your Hash Name?”  The RA then called in all the apparent walking wounded – those hashers with dodgy knees, ankles, backs etc.  Luvjoy joined this crowd and when asked why he said he had a dodgy dick!  Next Down-Down was for the forgetful who had not got their Hash mugs (the RA himself saved purely because he had just been awarded a new one).  One or two more Down-Downs for what, I cannot remember, and then the call for the ON-ON-ON at the Değirmen Restaurant in Dereköy – only 10 km away!!

A great day - thanks to all.

Culture Vulture

Tuesday, 18 August 2015

Hash Trash - Run 186

BH3 Run No. 186
Gumuşluk at 3pm on 9th August 2015
Hares:  Culture Vulture  &  Long Willie
Scribe:  King Crapper

1. The Gather-round
And so they gathered, the faithful 19, on a warm summer afternoon at the Gumuşluk country estate of Culture Vulture and Virgin.  The RV parking had been pre-specified; limited inside the estate, with the overflow outside where care was to be taken not to obstruct the neighbours parking or the grazing area.  Despite the estate gates being left open in a most welcoming fashion, everyone chose to park outside, thus leaving the ‘choice’ internal parking for VIP’s and late arrivals.  Dopey, the late-arrival-of-the-day, also chose to park outside and lived up to his name by blocking the neighbour’s car.
The Gather-round was called by RA Culture Vulture, who was probably quite pleased that the pack had not found their way into his cool and inviting pool.
The first-home-on-the-last-run, Shitter, beaten only by the professional runners of the Happy family clan who were not present on this day, was called in for his drink.
The hares, Culture Vulture and Long Willie, introduced themselves and proceeded with their ‘disinformation’ act.  One said the run was easy and not too long, while the other said he had lost 4kg in sweat while laying the trail so advised extra water to be carried.  The trail was laid using blue arrows on the left, with toilet paper in places, and an observant runner could find drinking water at certain places.
Other announcements followed. After the Hash, runners would be invited to use the pool, but were asked to shower first.  The BBQ would be fired up after the down-downs were completed.  And hares were still required for the run in 4 weeks.

2. The Run.
On-on was called towards the gates, but many of the pack went the other way to stock up on water.  The runners followed the trail out to the tarmac road and then turned left for a short distance before turning right into the bed of a dry stream.  Foliage overhead provided welcome cover from the sun and most enjoyed this delightful section of trail; the exception being Barrel who was nursing his ankle still damaged from 2 runs previous. Some 3 checks and several small back-streets later, the pack emerged in the centre of Gumuşluk village.
And then the up-hill began, gradual at first, above and behind the Gumuşluk main street, past the water cistern, and straight on for the runners.  The walkers were diverted right and soon baked in the heat as they ascended a steep section of gravel and then concrete road, to reach a ‘5-option’ check on the tarmac Karakaya access road.  To reach the same check, the runners enjoyed a long loop containing several checks, continuing initially up and then down to the ‘over-hill’ road towards Yalikavak.  Front runners LuvJoy, Shitter and the more youthful Patrick rotated places as each had luck in finding the trail which turned right up the ‘over-hill’ road, right again up a gravel road , and then near the end of this road (and with guidance from hare Long Willie), right again through a gate into scrub and farm land.  Here toilet paper dangling from bushes assisted in marking the trail and the pack scrambled upwards, over at least one small wall protected by thorn branches and barbed wire (enjoyed in particular by Fishy Fingers and Piss Pot), to some ruins and then the houses and the entrance of Karakaya village.  By the time the runners had reached and investigated the back-checks of the scenic ‘5-option’ check, and had recovered from King Crapper incorrectly identifying a hook, the walkers, directed by hare Culture Vulture, had long since descended the downwards trail via a new road past a major water depot, and had enjoyed the water from a public tap.  Dopey generously paid back one group of walkers, who had shared their water with his sister Emel and him, by purchasing ice creams for all as the outskirts of Gumuşluk village was reached.  The runner’s path home was cleverly concealed using back-checks, and in at least one instance, a check-back, but the general direction was down. The RV was a most welcomed sight after a trail that had taken more than one and a half hours for the slower runners.
3. The Circle
The circle was delayed so that all could enjoy a dip in the hosts’ pool.  LuvJoy led the way in organizing a vigorous pool-version of ‘piggy-in-the-middle’, so it was a great relief to some when the Circle was called by acting GM Culture Vulture.
First called in by Dopey, in his capacity of ‘acting acting GM’, were the hares Culture Vulture and Long Willie.  Calls of ‘too short’, ‘not steep enough’, ‘not hot enough’ and ‘not enough toilet paper’ were amongst those shouted from the circle.
The RA and acting GM Culture Vulture then took over and explained the significance of increasing beer prices, falling hasher numbers, the current illegal act of the Hash selling beer without a liquor licence, and the unavailability of others to help with the Hash mismanagement.  He asked for members to consider and debate the possible solution to all these problems; that members bring their own alcohol to the Hash while the hash mismanagement supplies only the down-down beers, so that this could be voted on in the near future.  The RA and acting GM also asked for members to identify others they know who might be interested in hashing, and also any previous hashers who may be enticed back
And then the usual business of the circle continued.  Dopey and Emel were called in for arriving late, and for setting out on the hash with insufficient water supply.  Dopey was rewarded again for his pre-hash car parking.  Barrel, who had earlier been given the ‘helmet’ for falling on a previous hash, and Piss Pot who had been given the ‘hash shit’ for not scribing the previous hash trash, were called out in recognition of their acts.  Emel was introduced as a naming candidate, and, later in the proceedings, was named Money Penny and given an appropriate drink.  Returnee Tinkerbell was invited into the circle for a drink, as was ‘virgin’ Patrick.  Muffin Muncher was called in for wearing pink, and her attempt to draw attention to Tits’ pink toe-nails was ignored.  Virgin and Happy were given drinks for misnaming.  Shitter, ButBut, Tits, and Happy were called in for being mug-less, and Patrick was called in for his tea-pot pose.
In recognition of Patrick being Canadian, Barrel sang a hash version of the French national anthem, and later told a very good joke which, like all other jokes, this Scribe cannot remember.  Each hash member present then introduced him/herself to Patrick, and he, after a very good attempt in remembering all but a few names, was awarded a drink.
Finally, Old Wreck, LuvJoy, Fishy Fingers, Culture Vulture, and Shitter, were called in to help finish up the remaining down-down drinks.
The circle was finally closed, the BBQ was lit, and an excellent evening was enjoyed by all.  Our thanks go out to Culture Vulture and Virgin for making their estate available to the hash, and also for their hospitality.  Both were most appreciated.
King Crapper

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

Hash Trash -Run 185

Where : Pedasa 
When : Sunday 26th July 3pm
Hares : Luvjoy & Doggy Style
Scribe : Dopey

On a cool 39 C degrees of 26th July 2015 afternoon, Dopey, His sister Emel, Muchk, But But and Shitter was travelling towards Pedesa area of Bodrum. Whilst on the duel Carriage way from Ortakent to Konacik direction, Shitter spotted a blue vehicle on the right, driven by RA and passenger Virgin heading towards to RV of BH3 Hash Run 185.
Instead of But But giving the driving instructions, she just said “Follow This truck” which made the journey very straight forward to the destination.
AS we entered the Pedesa Antik Park we saw a man acting as traffic police directing us to a parking plot. He turned out to be our very Hare Lovejoy. Due to the abundance of the signs he assumed the duty of traffic warden for the arriving hashers to RV.
When RA gathered the Circle and awarded the most desired warm beer to the Last runs FRB. 
He again assumed the GM and RA combined job. He proceeded with the unfortunate sad news of Noddy’s mother’s passing away on Saturday morning and asked for a Minute silence to express our respect to our fellow Hasher and her late Mother. Our Condolences could be offered through Facebook page which announces the sad news.
The Circle proceeded with the hares’ informative description of the run being a flat and a few check backs etc. and all signs being marked on the Left side of the tracks.
Before the start I, Dopey, was told that I was the Scribe of Run 185. Being Dopey I must have volunteered but forgotten all about it or it could have been GM/RA exercising his power to designate the position. Whatever the reason was, I could not refuse this honour so I put my scribe hat on to remember all events and started forward with the rest of the gang.
After a mile or so my Remembering hat told me that the signs were on the left side of the track but I could not see any. So to accomplish my duty correctly I offered £10,000 award to the first Hasher to find the chalk / Flour marked sign. The news must have triggered an interest and both Hares and runners joined in looking for the signs. In fact Lovejoy has tried to cheat and throw some flour on the track whilst running but as he was caught cheating no award was given.
I heard the voices from the walkers near to the top of the mountain “God please let this be the last hill to climb”. I could not understand the reasoning of this pray as it was only 42 C degrees and the track was prickly and lots of rocks. Every now and then runners appeared out of nowhere, joined us and disappeared again. Perhaps they haven’t realised the award was cancelled, I thought.
Some of the walkers made a short cut of a shortcut and returned to RV point so that Virgin would not be left alone for a long time. Eventually down the hill towards the RV, runners joined us ones again running so fast that I thought they were running away from a wild Boar or something.

Altogether we arrived at the RV and quenched our thirsts with water and beer.
Eventually RV/GM put a stop to the laziness and called for the circle. He started with awards of Hares which was followed by returnees, Visitors, Teapots and various other worthily reasons.
Before the ending of the Circle RA/GM explained that we had to move our Hash date on October the 4th , a week later to 11th October 2015 as it coincided with Fethiye Nash-Hash. We were also told that unless Hare volunteers come forward for the future hashes, there won’t be any runs. So some more hashers have come forward to put their names down.
After the circle closed the Hash group carried on towards the on-on-on at Kadikalesi beach but, unfortunately this scribe had his Children arriving early evening from the UK therefore he could not make the on-on-on to scribe about. 

Hash Trash - Run 184

Scribe : Pisspot

Thursday, 9 July 2015

Hash Trash - Run 183


Where: Peksimetköy

When: Sunday 28th June,3 pm

Hares: Butt Butt and Shitter

Scribe: Long Willie

As always at this time of the year,the weather was sunny and warm. We started by the crossroads between Kadikalesi,Gümüslük and Peksimetköy,with a view over the local rubbish tip. Down downs were given by the RA after calling the circle together,the FRB from the last run was Doggystyle. The hares,Butt Butt and Shitter,promised a “flat run,no hills,no stony parts”,and off we went. But where to? The first confusion started already after less than 100 m,as no one seemed to locate any trail marks. It took some time before we started going up the hills (as to avoid closer looks at the rubbish tip,perhaps?),just like goats we ran,stumbled or walked,all 19 of us,including five guests,passing Ahmet in his windmill,with a stunning view of all of Gümüslük and the Greek islands.
Then some more confusion,where to go? The runners were far ahead of us walkers,so no help from them,as a gesture maybe to attract some help,Tits suddenly started undressing,and stood in her orange bikini,but Noddy solemnly told her not to,as to respect the Ramazan –The men will get wild if they see you!
We struggled ahead,through high grass,close encounter to a cow,between the backyards of the houses in Peksimetköy and finally downhill we discovered a natural well,that were used to water the gardens below. And so,we had come to Dereköy. The road went on,now turning slowly back towards Gümüslük. Uphills again,stony road and nice views,but by now we were far behind the runners,and also some of the guests were getting very tired. By the time we had come down to the road that leads to Teldolap restaurant,Butt Butt had called for the “taxis” in the shape of Lightfoot´s and King Crapper´s cars,which took us back to the RV,only 10 minutes or so after the runners. All end that ends well!
The ON IN was held in a stone house ruin,that I strongly suspect was inhabited by the cows in the neighbourhood-one of them even tried to join us,another drank from the ice water left outside…As we were called in to circle up,we could hardly fit all of us,but in the end we all squeezed a little extra and so no one was left outside (except for the cow). I honestly can´t remember who got a downdown for what,but as I got my Hash name that particular day,I think I have a fair reason to a bit forgetful.  I do know a gentleman guest got his fair share,also Tits and her two friends/guests for wearing pink (again). After a vote took place for my Hash name (Pippi Popeye or Long Willie) this memorable Hash run ended in a wonderful place,a newly opened restaurant by the windmills,where we were given excellent food,service and a very reasonable bill!

Friday, 19 June 2015

Hash trash - Run 182

Where : Derekoy
When : Sunday 14th June 3pm
Hares : King Crapper & Old Wreck
Scribe : Hose Handler

It was a blistering hot day & there was a motley crew of "keen" hashers at Derekoy waiting for 3pm (new time for the summer) So the GM called the circle together & promptly gave a down down to the FRB from the last hash & of course it was Lightfoot by name & Lightfoot by nature as quick as a whippet!! Then the hares were called in, King Crapper & Old Wreck were the hares & they said "It will be a flat short run" & no prickly bushes!!! There was a short cut for the walkers & a pretty "run" for the  runners!!
So "On On" was called & we were off straight into some rather handsome camels if I say so myself!! So King Crapper gave us a "hint" the run that the run was not that way, so up we went into the hills & countryside with views all round very lovely it was to, then we went into the old hashers favourite thing yes you guessed it the dry riverbed yipee came the call as we "ran " gingerly through one riverbed & straight into another but this one had some wet stuff in it so that made it a bit more interesting. We all battled on for a few more kms enjoying the run & then out of nowhere King Crapper "popped" up & guided the walkers back into the On In, & he guided us runners to the right & yes you guessed it through riverbeds & then we started to go up & up & up, with Fishy Fingers, Doggystyle, & Pias husband in front of me through the very PRICKLY bushes all we heard was a few choice words coming from them & then apologising for swearing, but if the truth be told by heck there was some proper sharp thorns & bushes about & a lot seemed to be stabbing us, but when we got to the top we were rewarded to a fantastic 360 degrees view well worth the pain, but as they say "No pain no gain". Then it was a nice amble down the hill & a rewarding sign of the old ON IN a pleasure to see by all.
Then as we got back we waited for the last of the runners & the GM called the circle together under some lovely shady trees & the first ones he called were the Hares so KC & OW were called in & given a down down for a great hash we all enjoyed it plenty of views & PLENTY of very prickly bushes!! Well done. Then the GM called in Pias husband into the circle for being a virgin hasher well done to him, but Pia did "help" him to remove him cap whilst in the circle so a down down was given to her for helping her Husband.
In came the RA to give a few down downs, First there was a down down for Butt Butt for a teapot, then we called in Pia for she has not been named yet so we asked her for a "quick" run down of her life & all I can remember was some obscure cartoon girl called Pippi Longstockings (God knows who that is?) So we gave her a down down for miss naming Virgin.
Then a Down Down was given to Butt Butt for miss use of hash equipment fanning her BBQ fire with the fantastic new hash signs!!
We had a few more down downs then the circle was called to a close by the RA & so the BBQs went to full tilt with Lovejoy doing his & Culture Vulture firing up his BBQ as well but me thinks that KC & OW had the best idea a gas BBQ looking good you two!!
Thanks for a great hash.
See you all in August.
On On
Hose Handler & Helmet Polisher

Monday, 8 June 2015

Hash Trash - Run 181

RUN: 181
DATE: 31st May 2015
LOCATION: Was it A, B or C?
HARES: Semen and Barrel
SCRIBE: Old Banger

Lovely day for a Hash in Yalikavak. We all met at Noddy and Barrel's place at the appointed time (more about appointed time's later!), after a bit of hash-cashing and hash-chatting we formed a circle.
We welcomed visitors, virgins and returnees, heard absolutely nothing of interest from the Hares who just confused us with the alphabet, the GM talked about the successful wedding hash, we gave Lightfoot his just desserts and thanked King Crapper for sorting out the new signs and then. ....got back into our vehicles! Our convoy of two trucks with happy hashers crammed into the back and a car made it's way to the start of the run at point A...or was it B??

The route was not without it's challenges. Mountain goats would have been very comfortable cavorting on the steep rocky outcrops and then could have been dinner for the two ferocious sounding big dogs at the bottom. As it was we tripped and slid our way down, narrowly missing being dinner for the dogs and reached the road safely, except maybe Shitter who once again took a fall – probably on this part of the route. The rest of the route was straight forward with some lovely views and a section by the beach, some of us went slightly off course but local knowledge kept us in the right direction for whatever point we were heading for!

All rendezvoused back at Noddy and Barrel's place, some took to the pool – others the shade and
 most to the beer! The circle was called and downs downs were awarded.....in no particular order of merit.....the hares were called in to be told what a dreadful run it was, another welcome to visitors from Aberdeen - High Maintenance and Muff Diver also Thomaz and Elisabeth who I think were friends of Lightfoot and then returnees,  Mike and Pia. Lightfoot got a down down for not explaining the hat rule, Shitter got awarded the helmet and a down down for his clumsiness on the trail – yet again. Muffin Muncher just had to sit in the circle and got a down down for this breach of rules
but then further defiance followed  in the form of tea-potting and wearing pink got her another down down.
The big issue of the afternoon  presented by Culture Vulture was the time of the summer Hashes . Normally they move to 5pm for June/July/August. It was said that the difference in temperature is a minor 2 degrees and that it gets tricky getting bookings/good service in restaurants during the busier time of the evening. So it was suggested we stayed at 2pm. LuvJoy said  that we should have beach barbecues instead of going to restaurants after the summer Hashes and I think suggested 4pm starts. After some shouting out and voting, it was agreed that we would start at 3pm. It was also agreed that barbecues were a good idea and LuvJoy was appointed Barbe-Meister (although according to spell-checker this is Babe-Meister which he just might prefer!).

The Aberdeen Hash-visitors got tested on our Hash names, which would have been difficult enough but some – no names mentioned – forgot their own hash names.....down downs ensued! Finally I remember a down down for those with no mugs. Apologies for any omissions but there you go!

On On On

Monday, 18 May 2015

Hash trash - Run 180 ( Weekend wedding hash Sunday )

Date:        Sunday, 17th May 2015
Location: Ortakent Yahşi
Hares:      Culture Vulture
Scribe:      Doggy Style

After the excesses (for some) of the wedding celebrations the night before, a surprising number of hashers made it bright and bushy-tailed to the 12 noon start for Run 180.  The latest to arrive were of course the bride and groom, but they had honeymoon excuses.   When the circle finally started, Culture Vulture described the trail (generally lots of up and down, water that you wouldn’t want to step in, and marks on the left).  We did introductions for the visitors and new Groom, announced that No-name Vanessa was due to be named and awarded her the chic yellow naming hat to wear on the route, awarded Lightfoot the down-down for being the FRB on the run the Saturday run, and then off we went.

K9 set off with a very visible perkiness and the rest of the runners gave chase.  Along the beach, scrambling up the side of a hill, a wrong call thanks to a pile of building cement, and then all back together to go up and down some more.  It seemed blissfully cool for a midday run until we hit a dust track where the heat just bounced back at you.    With the male runners all keeping a strong pace (obviously in a completely non-competitive manner), Fishy Fingers and I lagged a little behind.  We did spook them nicely though when we reappeared quite close to them around a corner towards the end of the route, and that set them off scurrying away again for fear of coming in after the girls.

The walkers were not too far behind, and we were all soon back home at the RV, gratefully embracing the cold beer and wine.    A few people went to cool off in the sea, and an alert was raised that there appeared to be a pair of black pants abandoned on the grass.  Once it was ascertained that they were too lacy to be Fishy Fingers’ misplaced knickers from the night before, the owner was discovered to be Luvjoy.  Perhaps he had decided to join in with the tackle-display theme of the run.  Everyone’s nether regions appropriately covered, the circle was opened by the RA who was soon commended and heckled for his trail.  Noddy and Fishy Fingers were brought in for down downs to celebrate Noddy’s organisation of the weekend and Fishy Fingers truly scrumptious cake-baking.  Ellen and her team were also called in for thanks, after which Ellen shortly became “Matchmaker”, named after her Cilla Black skills with the Bride and Groom to be.  Vanessa came in to tell us more about herself, and various names were discussed.  Unfortunately for us, the call of mothering came and she had to leave the circle before she was named.  Unfortunately for her, this gave us even more time to reflect on possible suitable names.  We are looking forward to your return Vanessa!!!

There were many many down downs more – returnees, visitors from Istanbul and Fethiye (who reminded us about their upcoming birthday weekend and Nash Hash), mugless, no hash-gear, etc.  After which point, we were all beginning to melt in the heat and energy levels were wavering.  A break was taken for some men to master a mighty black erection whilst we all filled our mouths with something softer.  After a group photo, the circle was restarted and proceeded to become a battle of jokes.  Some were funny, some very funny, and others just made us groan. Fishy Fingers’ yummy cupcakes were dished out to those who hadn’t been on the previous day’s run, and the remainder awarded to those who managed to come up with a truly funny joke.  There was an exchange of truly beautiful rings by the Bride and Groom (clearly Noddy should be investigated for the recent Hatton Garden heist).  Fishy Fingers and Tits were brought in for appreciation of their barmaid skills, and the circle was brought to a close.  Thanks everyone for a great day!

On On Doggy Style!

Hash Trash - Run 179 ( Wedding weekend Saturday )

Hash Trash - Run 178

When : Sunday 3rd May 2pm
Where : 6km SE of Bodrum
Hares : King Crapper & Lightfoot
Scribe : Fishy Fingers

Run 178 was announced to be our Anzac run and we met on the coast 6km SE of Bodrum . The hares were King Crapper and Lightfoot so we knew a good challenging trail was ahead . A good crowd of Hashers turned out so we know the summer season is upon and we were delighted to welcome back our GM Hose handler too !

The circle was called and GM called in the first home fro the last run which was shitter so next home Doggy Style had the pleasure of the warm beer , The hares were called in and explained about the trail , you know the usual tale flat short etc . They also told us that as well as our usual flour trail Lightfoot had been busy building cairns for us to follow( stacks of rocks to mark a trail) . After the RA had done his bits On On was called and off we went .

King Crapper was the back hare so off we set with Lightfoot as front hare , there were lots of short cuts for the walkers so the pack was kept together very well . The trail started climbing uphill and we soon spotted the first of mny cairns it must have taken Lightfoot hours to mark the trail . The views over the Bodrum Peninsular were fab from the top of the hill , but it was one of those trails that you were never sure if you were going up , down or were somewhere in the middle as we weaved up and down the hills ! I enjoyed a good long run and spurred on by the walking pack managed to run up the final hill back to the RV ,

When the rest of the pack was safely gathered I bought out some cakes , however I had under estimated how many of us there would be so some hashers had to share ( sorry) , beer flowed a plenty in the May heat and the circle was called so the down downs could begin . The returnees ( lots of them ) , misnamers , pink wearers were all called in , Then someone spotted Hot Lips wearing a brand new pair of very sparkly trainers , it came to light they were Tits and she thought she could get away without a penalty the following week if someone else had worn them . Oh no they both had to take a drink out of the sweaty shoes ( sorry Hot Lips but you know what I mean ) .

As this was our Anzac hash , Old Wreck handed out Anzac biscuits and a flyer explaining all about them , much thanks to you as they were delicious ! Then Noddy came in to remind us about the upcoming Weekend Wedding Hash which was the next hash weekend ! The circle was closed and we all headed to the Belediye cafe nearby , where due to our large numbers we had to do a bit of reorganisation to the amusement of the staff .

A big thankyou to the hares for an excellent trail .

On On Fishy Fingers !

Hash Trash - Run 177

Hash Trash Run no 177
Where : In the Middle of Nowhere
When : Sunday 19th April 2pm
Hares: Luvjoy and Happy (& Stalker?)
Scribe : Barrel

 If you go down to the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise.
If you go down to the woods today
You'd better go in disguise!

For every boar that ever there was
Will gather there for certain,
Because today's the day the
Teddy Boars have their picnic.

So we all descended into the woods disguised as hashers. We did not see any teddy bears but Luvjoy, although not mentioned at the start, said that there were teddy boars in the woods.
However he did confuse the hashers, not difficult to do, by saying that there were some false trails and some check backs which did not necessarily mean going back to the last check. Therefore not really a check back – more of a somewhere else back
The first moans from the pack were soon heard as we headed uphill for an energetic start to the hash.
Soon we headed into flatter territory and through the use of a lot of checks and the fact that the undergrowth was slowing down the front runners the pack was kept close together for much of the hash.
In fact the sharp undergrowth drew blood on some hashers’ unprotected legs.
Also, circles were being kicked out before the main pack reached them? Luvjoy thought that the cows were doing it. Yeah right!
After some confusion and back tracking the pack eventually got onto the track which led them back to the cars. As this was a downhill stretch with stones underfoot Shitter was holding hands with one of the visitors. To steady themselves or just because it felt good?
So well done the hares for finding somewhere new, and remote and scenic, and away from all roads and civilisation.
The circle started with the usual – hares, returnees, visitors etc – and the RA told a joke which had some hashers crying out for Semen to return.
Hashers know that Down Downs are not always fair – who says the hash was supposed to be fair? – but the DD given to But But for her driving was a difficult one to take for her. I hope that she did not drive into the RA on the way home or run him over in the car park or other such retribution.
Holding hands – see above – was also DD’d.
A naming ceremony was then carried when Ali was christened – Shit-faced Baba. Learn to live with it Ali.
Tits and I am Up for It  also got DD’s for failing to produce promised hash trashes. They got a hashit for this last time and still  no result – what will the RA come up with if they fail to deliver by the next run??
Some pink was honoured with DD’s as the circle came to a close and the hashers headed off to food in Turgutreis.

Sunday, 19 April 2015

Hash Trash - Run 176

Run 176
Sunday 5th April 2015
Hares : Tinkerbell & Barrel
Location : Yalikavak
Scribe : Happy

The RV for run 176 on April 5th was at the home of Noddy and Barrel in Yalikavak. As everyone arrived there was a mad scramble to acquire the latest addition to our hash wardrobe - hash sweatshirts.These were available in a choice of three colours and sizes
All of the early birds seemed to favour the sky blue model so it was red or green for anyone who arrived late! Once the purchases were complete the circle was called and our stand in GM Culture Vulture wellcomef us all to run 176 on this a rather cloudy Easter Sunday.
The hares were called in and gave us the usual description of the trail and after the down down for the FRB Lovejoy off we set with Tinkerbell at the front with the runners and Barrel bringing up the rear with the walkers!
The trail took us on a varied circular of Yalikavak firstly on the wilder back tracks then down to the beach along the sea front,a bit of window shopping alongside the Marina, back up through the town and then back to the countryside,across a very boggy field!!

Once everyone had dried their soggy feet and had a well eared drink the circle was recalled.
The hares were awarded a down down for setting a rubbish trail.Next in the circle were the returnees and virgins closely followed by the mugless ,the wearers of pink and dare I say those practising Sex on the Hash !!!!
Shitter has completed 100 runs and was awarded a t shirt and given a d down. Having completed all the serious business the Easter Fun began in the form of Egg throwing an egg nose nudging race and an egg and spoon race  which was enjoyed by all. Finally we all joined Noddy and Barrel in wishing Tinkerbell a Very Happy Birthday!!!

Hash trash - Run 175

Run: 175
Date: Sunday 22nd March
Location: Yalıkavak
Hares: Barrel & Noddy
Scribe: Virgin

Hi Hashers,

It was a wonderful sunny spring day, so this time the RA did his job.  It was also Nevruz Spring Holiday so Happy Nevruz to all of you and I hope it will be a nice New Year.

We were 18 hashers including returners and 3 new Viking Hashers, Thomas the Tank, Anna and Pia that we welcomed and hope to see a lot of in the future.  Pia’s husband, Göktuğ unfortunately had to work although it was his 50th birthday.  Happy Birthday to Göktuğ.

It was a well set run from the hares’ house and endiong back there with the post run circle and plenty of beer.  It was good to see the return of Happy and Rachel.  Noddy got her 50th run mug which was filled and downed very quickly.  Ali received his wallet back as lost property that had been found on the reound by another Hasher.  He could now relax as he was prepared to go back along the trail to find it.  Good to have a group that looks after each other!

We had new T-shirts on sale, double sided with prints on each side (inside and outside), so 2 in 1 for only 15TL.  All sizes available from XS to XXL, but unfortunately no XM for Barrel that he requested!!

The ON-ON-ON was at Köşem (My Corner) with excellent food.  Everyone had remembered the good food so for the two who decided to join us very late they couldn’t get what they wanted (liver) as Köşem had run out.  Still there was Fish & Chips or curry left so no-one departed hungry.

Thansk for a good hash Noddy and Barrel. The next Hash will be Easter and April Fool’s, so be prepared as Loveboy (no printing error, but a verbal slip by Thomas the Tank!) is setting it.


Hash Trash - Run 174


Well what can i say about Hash 174 well quite a lot actually
The RA did his job we had a lovely bright sunny after a mornings
Culture Vulture was called in as FRB as she was first home at the last
Comes to soon stood in yet again as acting GM and promtly called in
the hare who told us a complete pack of lies about the run lol.
As it was İnternational womens day hasher were asked to wear the
colour purple.
The RA did his bit in te circle and stated there would be a naming ceromony after the run hasher were requested to think of names.
The hash was now on and off we went.
The run took us through part of the town and into the fields and orange
Then through broken tiles muddy fields where whinny bitches new trainers
were no longer white they soon became 40 shades of grey.
Then not only was that bad but we had to run through a building site
all the hashers completed the run as it was well marked.
the circle was formed the hares were told the run was rubbish and recieved a down down.
Down downs were given to returnees and a special down down for all the
women as it was womens day.
The RA took over the cirle and gave the GM a down down for not wearing purple.
Next to be called in was whinny bitch and recieved a down down for wearing new shoes and was made to drink from her shoes YUK!!!!!!!
Next was the naming ceromony where one of our turkish female hashers
was to be named after various suggestions as since she had just opened
a bar which is called Bar-on she was duley named Bar-on-ess and sucessfully drank the litre of ale.
The hares were then called in at the request of Barrel for failure to
comply with the health and saftey by sending the hashers through a working building site.
The circle was closed and the on on on was at the Bar-on in Turgutries
where the food was excellent and all in all a great day was had by all

On On On          Whinny bitch

Sunday, 8 March 2015

Hash Trash - Run 173

Hash trash run 173
Location : Sunday 22nd February Kadikalesi
Hares : Fishy Fingers & Doggy style
Scribe : Culture Vulture 

                                 JOHN BUNYAN - THE 39 (thousand)STEPS HASH    STEPS 

With winter travels and winter snivels to blame, only 5 Hashers turned up  (2 hares, 2 runners and 1 invalid) for what turned out to be the Hash with the most steps (of the staircase kind)!

Culture Vulture called for the opening square (with only four other hashers a circle wasn’t possible).  The hares explained the run would not be flat and around 6 km for walkers (none) and 10 km for the runners (2).  They therefore decided that if there was a hook, then maybe it would be OK for it to be ignored.  LuvJoy was given the Down-Down for First home last run.  Before calling the ON-ON he told a brief sexist Valentine’s joke.

With the two hares valiantly trotting behind (or occasionally beside), LuvJoy and Culture Vulture set off.  A brief run along the beach, before the turn up into the hills of Kadıkalesi with all the steep cobbled stones streets and steps for footpaths.  Culture Vulture soon realised that the only way from each check was up the steps which made checking quite easy until we reached the top!  We carefully threaded our way down along the trail and then through the back streets and fields of Kadıkalesi until reaching the streets of Turgutreis.  It was here that LuvJoy was confused by a flour-marked W (for walkers) because he took the other way that led him straight back to the ON-IN.  Because Culture Vulture had been doing his usual checking the wrong way at the previous check, he arrived at this confusing mark in time for the two hares to point him in the correct direction.  A kilometer or so later, the hares declared that the trail still had another 2 or 3 kilometres of loops, but as we had lost the only other runner LuvJoy, it would probably be best to shortcut home.  Half way along the ON-IN we encountered LuvJoy backtracking as he realized he had missed the trail some way back.  Thereafter it was a gentle trot back to the RV.

Culture Vulture called the square together again.  The two Hares, Fishy Fingers and Doggy Style received the appropriate disabuse for “a step too far”.  LuvJoy received his second Down-Down of the day for being Mugless.  This run had been previously declared a Valentine’s Day Hash, but only Culture Vulture was wearing the requested red or pink.  Down-Down’s all round for that of course.  After another sexist Valentine’s joke or two, the very brief square was called to an end and all five of us headed for the ON-ON-ON where the food was up to expectations.


Culture Vulture

Hash trash - Run 172

Date: Sunday, 8th February 2015
Location: Bitez
Hares: Comes Too Soon and Winey Bitch
Scribe: Doggy Style

On what was our wettest hash for the winter,  a number of us (seeing as I’m writing this in April, I can’t remember how many) assembled near the beach at Bitez, raring to go hashing.  It was cold to say the least, and we were hopping up and down to keep warm whilst we awaited the arrival of the Turkish late-comers.  Fishy Fingers amused us with her attempts at doing the splits.
The hares seemed to think that a couple of the more hardened running hashers would volunteer to set a live trail seeing as the rain had battered down upon their marking work from the previous day.  Luvjoy and Culture Vulture soon dissuaded them of this misconception, and Comes Too Soon reluctantly set off again with the flour.  Which is when things got interesting from a trail perspective, but more on that later.
The RA opened the circle, and Luvjoy was awarded the FRB down down from the previous run.  There must have been a joke or too, but I think I was too cold at the time to appreciate them, let alone recall them now.   Once we thought CTS had had enough headway, off we set in pursuit.  It was up up up the hill (always a danger when the RV is at sea-level), and then things went pear-shaped.  Runners were frantically looking for markings.  On On was called, and everyone set off again, only for the runners to be told very emphatically by a couple of the experienced hashers that it was “Walkers only”.  And so began again the frantic mark-searching of the runners.  We soon found another set of marks and ran off in the opposite direction to the walkers.   Fishy Fingers noted that the marks seemed to now be on the opposite side, with some arrows seeming more like they were coming towards us.  Could we be doing the route backwards.  Nothing to fear though, as we were soon met again by the walkers who appeared to have gone on a longer route than we had.  More confusion as the walkers and hare then informed the runners that when they shouted “Walkers only” at us a number of times they hadn’t actually meant “Only” and that we should have gone the same way as them.  Yep – I’m still confused about that use of the word “Only”.  Deciding that the walkers were providing little assistance, the runners set back up the hill we had run down.  Shitter and CV motored on ahead, but marks were spotted to the right.  As we were about to start investigating these, Winey Bitch reliably informed us that this was the correct route and off we should proceed.  And to be fair, it was.  However, this was before her fellow hare had decided to set a different live-trail to the one they had set the day before together, and hadn’t actually told her.  
So, I have no clue what runners route CV or Shitter did, nor which route the walkers did, but the still reasonably well-marked (considering the rain) runners’ trail that Luvjoy, Fishy Fingers, Barrel and I followed was very pleasant.  Lots of country paths, (not so dry) river beds, and a detour across a mandarin grove (accompanied by much barking from the farmer’s Kangols).    The last five minutes involved us being slowed down by calls from the walkers who were fed up of waiting for us to come back to start the circle – makes a change! ;)  Nice hill climb followed by a bit of competitive running from a couple of the runners (who I shall leave unnamed) at the end.
All back safe and well from our different routes, and the closing circle was called.  The hares came in to be berated/congratulated on their trail.  Secondhand dishwasher told a joke, and then CV was awarded a certificate for his 150th Bodrum Hash.  Well done CV!!!!  Miss Attitude was congratulated upon her karate accomplishments for the Turkish team – mental notes made to keep her on side!  Othr down downs were drunk but I can’t recall what for, and then we headed off to the Sultan Restaurant on the beach.  Thankfully the sun had decided to come out, so we were all able to dry off a bit.  Many of us had remembered to bring dry shoes to change into.  Shitter had kindly offered to bring a pair for Luvjoy.  Luvjoy looked a little miffed when Shitter produced them from the boot of his car, and realised that they weren’t actually a matching pair (though at least a vaguely similar shade of colour).  He looked more miffed (though really not that surprised) when he realised that they were also both left feet!!  Next time, ask Butt Butt.
An enjoyable variety of hash routes and a great On On On.  Thank you very much to the hares!
On On! 
Doggy Style

Hash Trash - Run 171

Run 171
When : 25th January 2015
Hare : Culture Vulture
Location : Gumusluk
Scribe : Fishy Fingers

Run 171 was to take place from the home of Culture Vulture and Virgin , the weather forecast was very mixed so brave experience hare Culture Vulture announced he was to set a live run .
So a dedicated crowd of hashers gathered and were ready and waiting to begin at 2pm , however we were delayed by our lovely Turkish ladies timekeeping as the called to say they were running late and turned up 10 minutes late ( thats 1 down down we knew was coming later ) . Our RA started the circle briefly (before he set off to mark the run ) by handing the Hash Shit to Cums too Soon for denying his birthday on the previous hash .The GM then took the circle and after a respectable head start we set off in chase of the hare .

We set off through the lanes of Gumusluk and Luvjoy suggested it might be easy to choose the correct route at the checks due to the amount of mud there would be CVs large fresh footprints but no our RA is too long in the tooth to make a simple mistake like that and  he was determined to make us hunt him down . The live run meant plenty of checks though (16 in total) so the pack was mainly kept together . The hare had also promsied us a short run but as he heard no sound of us behind him he added an extra loop on the end making the run a respectable 6.5km .

When we were all safely back to the RV the circle was called under cover as the promised rain arrived , good work from the RA though as the whole of the actual run remained dry.various down downs were awarded , late comers , tea pots , you name it a down down was given for it .

The On On On was at the small pide house in Gumusluk and was delicious as always and the wine glasses very large and very cheap which is always a winner , So huge thanks to Culture Vulture for another excellent live run and On On to the next hash .

On On Fishy Fingers !!

Hash Trash - Run 170

Dağbelen      Sunday 11th January 2015
Hare:-    LUVJOY
Scrıbe:-  Cums-to-soon

On a brıght and sunny day, coursty of Culture Vulture, the ıntrepıd hashers of BH3 met ın the lovely countrysıde outsıde the vıllage of Dağbelen. Together wıth the regular hashers and some returnees, plus a vırgın, not to be confused wıth our regular Vırgın. The run had been put together by Luvjoy who had done a splendıd job separatıng the runners from the walkers by provıdıng a map for the walkers. The cırcle was called and Dopey was actıng GM due to Hose Handler beıng ın England ( ı hope he gets well and comes back soon)
Dopey ın hıs usual style opened the cırcle and was promtly gıven the Hash Shıt for faılıng to lıaıse over the purchasıng of Hash Gear, to whıch he denıde sayıng ıt was the next week. The Hare was called ın and after confusıng everyone, the Hash was on. Luvjoy had done a great job separtıng the runners from the walkers whıch resulted ın the walkers and runners arrıvıng back at the cırcle almost together.
The cırcle was formed and the Vırgın,returnees were gıven the down downs. Luvjoy was gıven down downs for doıng a good run and also for a Comet beıng named Luvjoy. Doggy Style and Butt Butt were called ın for wearıng new shoes, Cums-to-soon for beıng a bırthday boy, other hashers for wearıng Pınk and wrong namıng. Fıshy Fıngers and Cums-to-soon were called ın to take down downs on behalf of Muffın and Mıss Atıtude who dıd not stop talkıng durıng the run and ın the cırcle. they wıll be gıven water next tıme.
All ın all ıt was good run, well organısed and good weather was enjoyed by all. The cırcle was closed and the On On On was at Zerde ın Kadıkalesi

On On On

Hash Trash - Run 169

Hash Trash - Run 168