Hash Wedding weekend

Hash Wedding weekend

Thursday, 18 September 2014

Hash Trash - Run 161

 Run 161: Ortakent Sunday 7th September 5pm
Hare: Dopey
Scribe: Culture Vulture 

Despite the fact that Dopey had left the trail setting for Sunday morning because he had feared rain overnight, 19 of us (including a visitor who had travelled down from Izmir by bus just for the Hash – Allison) met under skies with only a few small white clouds surmounting the distant hills.  Dopey, stand in GM and the only hare, called the opening circle.  He first gave the DOWN-DOWN to the first home last run, King Crapper, and then managed to entertain us with switching between GM and hare (hat then no hat, etc.).  During this, he gave us the usual hare drivel - flat, short, etc., - but he did introduce a mix between a check, hook, and check back all at the same place, which … well, we’ll see later.  He then handed over to the RA.  The RA actually volunteered to be Scribe due to prompting from the assembled that the GM had forgotten.  As there were a few returnees, one visitor and one virgin, the RA got the assembled Hashers to introduce themselves, before calling ON-ON

Immediately upon leaving the RV, we climbed the only gradient Dopey had said there was.  At first it appeared that there were only four runners – King Crapper, Shitter, Allison, and Culture Vulture.  As the newly introduced Check/Hook/Check back required the first five “runners” to go back, there was no reason for any of these four to hang back – which they didn’t.  After a few checks, the first of the dreaded Check/Hook/Check back appeared.  King Crapper, Shitter and Allison started back, but CV was a little behind at this stage (bloody gardening!).  As he delayed turning back, Doggy Style and Fishy Fingers appeared around the corner.  They insisted that we had already missed one of the Check/Hook/Check backs so were already off trail.  CV took no further excuse to not go back and continued alongside them.  He did concede that he wouldn’t run again until he could see any of the others returning.  True to his word, and two checks later, the intrepid three (King Crapper, Shitter and Allison) appeared around the corner and CV (together with Doggy Style and Fishy Fingers) joined them onwards.  Bugger, the next check was the second Check/Hook/Check back.  King Crapper, Allison, Culture Vulture, Doggy Style and Fishy Fingers were the first five there (how did Shitter manage to be so far back?!).  All five did the full circle and met the whole of the rest of the Hashers twice (once the wrong way and again passing them in the right direction), and at this point we found out that the Check/Hook/Check back we had missed was NOT a Check/Hook/Check back, but a mis-marking by a non-appearing co-hare!.  However Shitter had been left in the lead, where he stayed until the end (courtesy of a non-competitive King Crapper, a snap happy Allison (a camel!) – and a knackered Culture Vulture).

GM Dopey opened the post-run circle.  The first thing he did was to take off his GM hat and ask the RA to call the hare in.  He then re-donned his hat and called in the visitor (Allison) and Virgin (Jacquelin – apologies if that is not a correct spelling), mother of I’m Up for It.  He then handed over to the RA, but Shitter was too quick to condemn him for forgetting the returnees - first DOWN-DOWN to Shitter.  The first thing the RA did when he had the circle was to invite in the returnees Old Banger, I’m Up for It, The only Gay in the Village & Rampant Rabbit.  The RA then called Shitter back in for not striking through checks when ON-ON was called.  (OK, so a couple were dubious, but he was standing at and looking at a check when ON-ON was called and didn’t strike it through – I saw it happen!!!! - RA).  A couple of dubious DOWN-DOWNs for tea pots then the RA called in I Loves C(l)ocks.  The RA asked I Loves C(l)ocks to stand there and then invited Hashers to tell jokes to make him laugh.  Only Allison and I’m Up for It took up the challenge, but I Loves C(l)ocks was stalwart and wouldn’t smile (either the jokes weren’t very funny, or he suspected some rum things were to happen).  The RA then admitted that he had wanted I Loves C(l)ocks to show the teeth that he had just had completed for him such that he was happy to eat solids again no matter what the cost.  Now it was decided (by whom!!??!!) that Alison, the visitor, should be named.  She has hashed a couple of times before and travels a lot, she has been running in Izmir and trying to get runners there to start a new Izmir Hash, she came down from Izmir just for our run (and maybe a break, cycling and swimming) and was one of the only two Hashers to do run both Check/Hook/Check backs.  So, as an introduction the RA announced that her e-mail was allisonukulele, and asked her to explain the ukulele bit.  The hashers were not impressed (well, maybe a bit).  She then explained that she had come over from the US for four months to look after a friend’s two cats. Hence Allison is now Pussy Minder.  She couldn’t quite deal with the entire litre DOWN-DOWN, but she did, in TRUE Hasher fashion, put the rest ON HER HEAD.  At this point the, RA was about to close the circle, but the GM insisted in a last DOWN-DOWN for the goody-goodies (those who hadn’t had a DOWN-DOWN in the previous circles).

Then to the ON-ON-ON, which was, for the second time (that’s for Butt Butt), at the adjacent Restaurant.  A pretty good spread and a good time had by all (at least, I think so cos I don’t remember much more).

Here’s hoping that those (runners all!!) in Izmir will make a new Hash.

Culture Vulture