Hash Wedding weekend

Hash Wedding weekend

Sunday, 29 June 2014

Hash Trash - Run 155

Sunday June 15th 2014
Bodrum Hash House Harriers: Run 155
Site: Camlik
Number of attendees: 28

A disparate group of no hopers descended on the delightful Camlik, sat around chatting, without a care in the world; a blue cold box was dragged into the assembly area and cries of Vulture Culture and Virgin have arrived - cold water was guzzled, fees paid and beer coupons distributed; everyone sat and waited and waited….the two hares (what’s a female hare? A harem, or maybe harette?) returned, dehydrated and exhausted but as only harettes can do, were smiling, whilst querying why their water support team hadn’t arrived. Excuses, excuses before 5 semi dressed men wandered into the middle of the nearby field; everyone watched…what would happen next? No feely touchy stuff, just standing there intently discussing serious issues and then cries of “Circle!” disturbed the quiet chatter. And so a strange assembly took place with a circle of the no hopers formed around two aged silver foxes who barked orders; hands were raised for food orders, the harettes explained where they’d been that afternoon and suddenly a group of five (FRBs) leapt off…
Into the Valley of death strode the 5(00) Hashers, never to be seen (or heard) again, well not until the pack returned from their exertions.
Dopey and the remaining dwarfs strode along a dirt track chattering away, noticing the odd traces of chalk; a sharp right from the dried river bed took us through scrubland, with the inimitable thorn bushes only found in these parched Mediterranean lands; no snakes of note were seen; onwards to a short stretch of tarmac leading to a building site and a selection of directions with opposite pointing arrows neatly dovetailing; a new dried riverbed, continuing up and up with clear chalk marks all the way; our virgin hasher soon detected the red ribbon (perhaps the eye operation wasn’t too successful for our RA?); upwards through the fields across the stone walls – to another track and a ‘Check!’ – without hesitation our pack of walkers took the correct direction, stopped to wonder at the stunning panorama, then meandered down the track; Dopey spied a dead bird sitting on a branch (presumably it had just flown there?); and onwards, down to another road, following paper until reaching one of our harettes…’Wow where have you come from? You’ve just done the FRB’s run!’ she exclaimed, so we wandered on, led by our Virgin hashette arriving after some 70 minutes; our mute FRBs (even they, the esteemed ones, lost themselves, presumably in translation, just meters short of ‘home’) were mingling with the SCBs, duly ignoring the wonderful achievement of the finely tuned walkers.
And so, with due aplomb, the aged silver foxes called the assembly together, forming yet another circle. Drinks were drunk; guests were welcomed; ‘pink’ and ‘dresses’ were punished, the harettes were praised in typical hash fashion, new shoes infected with athletes foot were used as a drinking vessel; the silver foxes were duly punished for being old and silver and forgetful or something along those lines. Food was served. Our 28 attendees exceeded the expected 22.4467 runners (the average number since time immemorial), putting pressure on Mehmet and the staff of Sir Sofrasi – extra sheep were seen, herded into the abattoir, to feed the masses (relieving the sad looking bedraggled dog who was being fattened with the left over bones); and so onwards and upwards, some to their homes, others for further imbibing, the remainder presumably to someone else’s abode; the sunset on the return journey led to the exclamation ‘what else could anyone want?’ – Well, perhaps a glass of wine and George Clooney (presumably for the ladies?) was the retort.

On On

Hash Trash - Run 154

Scribble  of BH3  run 154
On the day of 1st of June 2014 afternoon  around 17:09:32 Bodrum Hashers got together under the New carriageway of Ortakent. The Opening Circle was chosen to  be executed  inside the tunnel echoing the voices of GM and RA
Following the welcome speech and   asking CV to take the pleasure of being the FRB on run 153, RA took the command and invited Doggy style and butt butt  to explain about the  hash route  and on on venue after the run. The hares explain that the run was very flat and there was only one on on marked at junctions where poor front runners to watch carefully before they shouted “on on”. The track was very flat but we were going through a private property guarded by some dogs. This gave a nice chilling expectation to the runners. On On On was at the Golf Club and volunteers for experimenting this venue eagerly raised their hands to be counted.
I don’t know if Love Joy’s dog Vodka took much notice of what was said it showed that his interest was not concentrated in the track but elsewhere so Love joy had to use both hands to restrain Vodka and I took the advantage of taking Love Joys snake stick as if I were helping him but my real motive was to be ready for guard dogs assault en route.
The track was very good not many hills to negotiate and we were able to do a lot of ankle strengthening exercises by running in a dried up creek bed.
We have not encountered any dog attack during the passage of private property.  False tracks caused a few front runners confused look on their faces as they could not spot the only one mark for on on. Walkers had a good time and at the end all runners and walkers arrived at the circle more or less same time.
GM kindly invited the Hares and asked runners opinion about the run as usual “rubbish” came out but all new that it was a good run. After Hares, returnees, tea pots and new comers being rewarded with a cup of beer, CV as RA asked Dopey (me) to be the scribe. I had not much of a chance to say no. In the absence of any help from fishy fingers and having a Dopey mind I cannot remember a lot to scribe. I would suggest that scribe to be told at the starting circle so he/she would try to keep things in mind.
On On On was held at the Ortakent Gulf club and both the food and settings were very good. Hashers had good food and drink as well as nice conversations.  Gob shite tried all his skills to have his drinks paid by his fellow hashers. Vodka was very upset about not sitting at the table so he showed his displeasure by pulling the serving table with plates and crockery  away from the main table and causing  a bit embarrassment to Love joy and  taken away to the car as punishment for his  bad behaviour.
For a change the whole run and on on on went without any one getting pissed or upset by. The event ended early and pleasantly I have no idea if anyone got carried on to the local bars . If  they did and I was not invited I was not upset by it either .
On On