Hash Wedding weekend

Hash Wedding weekend

Friday, 25 October 2013

Hash Trash - Run 135


Location: Yalikavak
Date: Sunday, 20 October 2013
Hares: Semen & Tits
Scribe: Helmet Polisher & Hose Handler


It was beautiful weather at a great location, good directions easy to find. Seaman looked a bit concerned at the arrival of a bulldozer across the trail but all was well (What do you expect from a former RA)!!

Poor Fishy Fingers was really brave or foolish to have managed to turn up very very "unwell", even a twix and Red Bull didn't do the trick (Must of had a dodgy peanut the night before!!) Wild Rover as usual turned up late must be he was on Irish time!! He was "sporting" a rather fetching new hair do I thought he looked at least twenty years younger I think!!

Pussy Galore was the star of the hash as it was her last (97th) before locating to Yorkshire, poor her with a cold winter predicted brrrr!!

The trail was great with some spectacular views. The dry river bed was great for keeping runners back a bit, nice short cuts for the walkers & some good roads for the runners to pound down & we did enjoy it!! (Nice one Seaman & Tits).

The runners all came back at once with Lovejoy leading the way but we did see Sugar Puff resting on a rock (she must of ran like the wind so quick) So we waited for a few minutes for the walkers to come in & it was noticed that Butt Butt & Helmet Polisher came in the wrong way but at least they got back safely. As Pisser took a tumble the day before & bruised his ankle (must be the new shoes) he walked round so we waited for his return to get the beers out.

The circle started with Pussy Galore called in first with honour & cheers a good last down down for her, she will be greatly missed by all especially Helmet Polisher at the beer table!! Then the hares were called in (Seaman & Tits) & after a bit of heckling from the crowd they were dispatched with a down down. Then the returnees were called in Wild Rover & Piss Pot were given a down down, Wild Rover was called back in to the circle for his outlandish "hairstyle" another down down for him. Then the GM called in Fishy Fingers & asked her for the receipt for the chocolate & drink, after a bit of searching she couldn't find it & there it was in the RAs hand so a down down was given to her for "littering" Mind you it did fall out of her pocket.

A few more jokes told by the RA & the GM very good ones as well hehe!! A few more down downs were dispatched, then the circle was closed & off to the Curry House for a lovely meal & a few more beers.

A good Hash was had by all.

See you on the next one.
On On !

Written by Helmet Polisher & typed by Hose Handler.

Friday, 11 October 2013

Hash Trash - Run 134


Location: Bitez
Date: Sunday, 6 October 2013
Hares: King Crapper & Hose Handler
Scribe: Old Banger

What a fine day for a hash! The cold north wind had blown itself out just leaving a residue of chilliness which we soon shook off along with our fleeces.

Everybody arrived for a 2pm start except, where was Lightfoot? Anyhow the circle was called, the GM called upon the RA to call upon King Crapper to accept the good hasher honour then dreadful jokes, stretchy exercises, menu choosing followed and finally the hares told us some lies about the trail. We were off.

Well some of us anyway - poor old Helmet Polisher had to get the food orders to Jack’s and in the meantime Lightfoot arrived.

The trail took us all around the backstreets and river beds of Bitez, past dogs, mattresses, orchards, olive groves - mutterings were that we did a figure of 8, walkers that is. Runners might have done a 9 or even 10, who cares. The walkers were blessed (?!) with the company of King Crapper and Pisser. King Crapper gave us a master class in hash mark-ology (fancy asking Whilst You’re Down There what she does when she comes to a circle!) and Pisser kept count of misdemeanours - mainly misnaming. At one point Pisser said he was “going for a wee” - that didn’t sound right, surely he should be “taking a piss”?

Hotlips found a mobile phone.  When it rang she answered it and we found her asking “does anyone speak Turkish”? Pisser rose to the challenge and after a lot of welsh “giddiyorum Jacks”, we passed some young Turks who took the phone off Pisser’s hands. Hopefully they returned it to it’s owner, who was at the ice-cream shop in Bitez! Maybe they got a free ice-cream.

We enjoyed 2 melon stops thanks to Mrs. King Crapper, perfectly cut melon and lots of it!

At the RV, the GM called us to order in a circle and down-downs commenced. Where was Lightfoot? I think he had lightfooted or maybe hotfooted it out of there. Well, the Hares got their usual dressing down and a variety of down-downs were downed:  returnees, those wearing pink, impersonations and thanks to Pisser all the misnaming walkers! Despite all these down downs, there were a suspicious number of goody goodies taking part in that down down.

Of special note were our newcomers, the RA should have been done for impersonating a game show host.  His interrogations revealed that Luvjoy’s neighbours from Southampton make a good sausage sandwich and Teapotman came here by Easyjet! Who was he? He certainly got some practice in drinking from a teapot, or maybe not as most of the beer went down his pistachio green t-shirt.  Doggy Style also got into the act and had to share a teapot down down, not a good look! We also discovered that Gobshite didn’t sail all the way here from Hong Kong! The RA had been so impressed too! Nevertheless Gobshite did do a bit of gobshiting, something to do with time management - interesting, really!

 We do have to congratulate the RA for spending the right amount of time on circle business - enjoyed by all.
 
What more can be said?

ON ON ON at Jack’s Restaurant.

Thursday, 3 October 2013

Hash Trash - Run 133


Location: Da─čbelen
Date: Sunday, 22 September 2013
Hares: LuvJoy & Run Fat Boy Run
Scribe: Semen

About 26 Bodrum hashers grouped together up the top of the hill from Yalikavak just past the windmills which is known for being a late night red light district for Turkish men!!

We started off at 5pm and were informed that this would be the last run at this time as we are going back to a 2pm start in future.  So remember next Sunday 6 October will start at 2PM.

First the GM formed the start circle and invited the hares of Luvjoy and Run Fat Boy Run to tell us about the run.  We were informed that there would be a lot of short cuts for the walkers, a beer stop and plenty of checks but the runners had to find the trail by themselves.  They did not inform us that most of the marks were on the right which is alright when you are in the UK but marks should be on the left if at all possible so that you know if you are going the right way or going back on a trail.

They then did a count for the on on on which was at Uncle's Restaurant in Turgutreis.  It had been mentioned that why was it in Turgutreis as the hash was near Yalikavak but apparently that is where the hares know best.  After a total of 12 were counted (some of which were not there) I started to think that this was not a real on on on but a gathering of those who live around Turgutreis.

Then the RA came into the circle to announce that Miss Attitude was being given the honour award for representing Turkey in karate for her age group and won gold.

He then did the warm up which I must admit I am starting to enjoy.  It was not silly and we did get to stretch our muscles, which I for one found most useful.

The walkers were then taken one way by Run Fat Boy Run which included our GM as he has given up running (amongst other things) for a month!!

I joined the runners (don't laugh) and 10 of us went off in search of the trail.  After a couple of minutes and not having much luck, Doggy Style saw Luvjoy dashing down the road behind us.  Off we went in hot pursuit only to catch up with him when we were some distance from the start.  This seemed to carry on all through the run which seemed to go on and on and on and up and up and up then down and down and down.

Along the way our number seemed to increase to 11 when Butt Butt miraculously turned up.  I was sure she was not there at the start but I may have been wrong.

We also came across a pack of dogs and one very cute puppy decided to follow us all the way back.  She was really adorable and I wondered if anyone was going to take her home.

I never did quite manage to get to the beer stop as after an hour and a half we had still not come across it.  The scenery though was amazing and it was so great to be off all roads and a lot of thought and effort had gone into setting the run.  Another thank you to Luvjoy and Run Fat Boy Run for setting a great hash.

Then a Land Rover was coming towards me with Run Fat Boy Run at the wheel and I was asked if I wanted a lift and that there was beer in the back.  Well as I never refuse a beer in I got.  So did a few others to catch up but some got out to complete the run, needless to say I carried on drinking.

I cannot say anything about the walkers but maybe I will get a little help in that.  Apparently, it was a very nice route with lots of pine trees but it got a bit chilly at the beer stop (for those who made it).

As I was one of the first home (cheat) I could observe everyone returning. Lightfoot started to do press ups on returning to the comment "she is not there anymore" as 10k was obviously not enough for him.  King Crapper decided to go to his car first before coming home to change and then it was decided to get the circle going as it was getting dark.

First we had the hares in to be congratulated for setting such a rubbish (not really) run closely followed by Lightfoot's virgins.  One of which decided to do an advert for a new gym in Bodrum, which she is managing.  We were informed that the wind was blowing away all the down down cups so we had to drink what we had in our hands.  I found this an ingenious way to save money on the down down beer and think we should carry it on in the future.

Then we went on to the returnees of Comes too Soon, Miss Attitude, Lightfoot, Butt Butt, Whilst Your Down There and two whose names escape me.

Then came the turn of my very good friend, No Name who was visiting whom I have known for over 40 years.  Tits and I had stayed with him in Colombo, Sri Lanka last year and had done the two hashes there but that is another story. He is now back in Brisbane, Australia but had come to the UK for the Ashes Tests and some other excuse and decided to visit me in Bodrum. The GM made the mistake of asking him to say how he had got this strange name and we got a tirade (well not quite a tirade but a long drawn out speech) about the Good, the Bad and the Ugly and all the other Clint Eastwood cowboy movies!! He was cut short (well it was getting dark) to finish his beer with a down down down.

Then came the turn of Miss Attitude who was drinking diet coke so down it went.

Lightfoot and King Crapper were called in for some trumpt up charge and quickly finished their beer.

The RA then took over in his wonderful sweat pants to call in one of Lightfoot's virgins, Run Fat Boy Run, No Name and Luvjoy for being teapots.  They all had to share the same teapot in a very funny episode where Run Fat Boy Run was feeding the virgin by the spout.

I was called in for what I thought a very trump up charge but I excepted the honour without complaint.

Flasher was then called in as we are going to miss her for the next few hashes as she is off to Oz to see the new Grandchild.  Not to be out done Pisser was also called in to share the honour as he is also a proud new Grandad.

Lightfoot and his three new virgins were called in again for the last down down before going off to the on on on.

A great hash again and see you next Sunday but remember it is at 2PM.

Semen